I went up against Joe List in last night's World Series of Stand-Up competition at Caroline's. How did I do? Everyone laughed at my jokes. Great, but did I win? It's not about winning or losing. It's about getting the chance to perform.
Anyway, Joe said something that got an applause break, so I left without finding out which one of us won.
No, YOU'RE a big baby!
Then I went to buy a Cinnabon at Rockefeller Center just in case I lost. But it was closed, so I went to the Dunkin Donuts kiosk next door.
Me: Hi, I don't know what I want yet.
Employee: How about a DONUT? (Other employees laugh)
Me: I wanted a Cinnabon. What's the twisty thing you have here that's like a cinnamon roll?
Employee: Bagel twists
Me: No, I don't want a bagel
Employee: RAISIN bagel twist. With icing.
It tasted like a bagel with icing.