Melt Your Blues Away

My only gig this weekend was emceeing the aforementioned "Mommy Needs a Cocktail" event at Melt in Park Slope, BK. It turned out to be pretty fun, and featured the storytelling of Randi Skaggs and Jen Lee, poetry by Michele Madigan Somerville, and comedy by my homey from another Momey, Carolyn Castiglia.

Jen opened up with a great mother-daughter bonding tale of seat-searching in Starbucks and offered a discount for her writing class to all attendees. Michele followed with an ode to MILFs and dozens of other hilarious phrases that acronym could stand for. Randi took her turn, and I had been warned that she was sharing something serious. I was told jokes might not be appropriate before or after her piece. Don't tell that to a comedian. After I listened to Randi's story of postpartum depression I instinctively volunteered to spank her child for her. "I offer my services in Target all the time, but no one ever takes me up on it."

I had pulled pork sliders, cheesey hors d'oeuvres, free chocolate and went home with a goodie bag, so not bad for a Sunday night. It was a change of pace from the average restaurant show because there was no loud music to compete with, and the room was full of patiently attentive people who came to be entertained. Lots of pregnant ladies in the room, but I refuse to acknowledge it on stage if I haven't confirmed it before hand. I am paranoid because I guessed wrong once. This just in: ladies do not like to be asked if their pregnant when they're not NOR do they like to be told afterwards they have impressive beer bellies.

Photo credit:
www.meltnyc.com

Where a Man Can be a Kid

Most of my weekend was spent planning and executing a birthday celebration for Dr. HUBStible. He was asked to wait on the corner of 6th Ave and Broadway where he received a package from a mysterious spy (our friend Greg). The package had a bandana, a camera and a message: I had been kidnapped and he too was being taken hostage. He was blindfolded with the bandana, his picture was taken, then he was guided through the busy streets of Times Square to Dave and Busters with people shouting "Happy Birthday" along the way (he had a sign on his back, and only one person shouted). Upon arrival he saw a table full of friends. "Surpriiiiise!" He had dinner and cake, and piles of tickets later, he went home with lots of loot. In addition to his non-performing friends, comedians Brendan Fitzgibbons, Lance Weiss, J-L Cauvin, Nick Cobb, Becky Ciletti, Lisa Kaplan, writer Chris Serico and singer/songwriter Kohli were there to join in on the fun.

I opted for Dave and Buster's because hanging out at Chuck E. Cheese is too creepy. Plus you're too big for all the attractions. Besides, who wants to eat at a restaurant whose spokesman is a RAT?! "Have your children meet our vermin." Did anyone at the pitch meeting find this unappetizing? Was the cockroach costume too hard to sew?

To complete the action adventure theme, I took him to see The 39 Steps on Broadway. I joked on Twitter, "I wonder who will play Hitchcock's cameo..." but lo and behold, they squeezed in a funny Hitchcock appearance after all. The play was hilarious, and a nice end to a fun weekend.

Does Your Mommy Need a Cocktail?

I am hosting a super fun event on Sunday called "Mommy Needs a Cocktail". This social night of storytelling and networking is the brainchild of Brooklyn's powerhouses Ellen Bari and Melissa Lopata. Melissa is the author of HipSlopeMama.com.

Click here to buy tickets.

Goodie bags, networking, laughs, free food and drink.

Time : 4:30 to 7pm
Date : Sunday, November 8th
Cost : Tickets are $10 online & $15 at the door
Place : Melt Restaurant, 440 Bergen St (bet 5th ave. & 6th ave.) Park Slope, Brooklyn, NY 11217

Interracial Happenings

Luke and I performed on Liz Miele and Reese Waters' new show at Local 269 last night. If you don't know who they are, maybe you haven't watched a show called Comedy Central's Live at Gotham. The theme was interracial dating, featuring Adrienne Iapalucci, Brandon Victor Dixon, and a short film we made on the subject called, "This is How We Do It." In addition to having fun sets, it was cool to see the movie for the first time. Other performers from the film like Mo Diggs and Cathleen Carr, were in the audience to support.

My only regret is I had Rae Dawn Chong hair last night. The kind from Soul Man. Ugh. But I made the most of it.



"That's the daughter of Tommy Chong. Do you think anyone's disappointed to know that one of America's most beloved stoners has the last name CHONG? I mean besides all the Chinese people in the world? We work-a hard for our stelly-o-types! (pointing to an Asian man in the audience), He told me to do that. He said, Make sure the R is pronounced like an L or they won't get it."

Are You My Mother?

I trudged through the rain last week to a commercial audition that required a really long wait. I just had to pretend to be some kid's mom. Thank goodness for the girl I was paired up with, because she was the highlight of my day. "My name is Taylor. I'm seven. Here's my resume. I am with hibbity-hobbity management. I used to be with morkity-skorkity management. Do you know hibbity-hobbity? Do you know morkity-skorkity? I acted since I was 1 year old. I have 21 cousins." I told her she had bad breath, and that kept her focused on the role. Or at least quiet.

She was actually a lot of fun to be around considering other snippets of conversation I heard.

Boy: Mom, Kevin--Mom. Kevin did song stealing and--
Mom: --piracy.
Boy: No, he did song stealing, and I just wanted to let you know that. Don't tell anyone okay? I just thought you should know.

9 year old to fellow actor: Dude (hand shake), what's up?!

Mom: Walk it off Ryan! Walk it off!
(What do you need to walk off at an audition?)

Man waiting to read for Dad role: I've been acting since I was twelve. I went to school with Yasmine Bleeth. I was hailing cabs and doing auditions by myself since I was a kid. What's with all these parents? Is there some law now that kids can't audition by themselves?

Girl (rehearsing): I love this place!
Mom: Louder.
Girl: I LOVE THIS PLACE!

Sinbad to the Bone

Had a busy weekend that stretched to the following week!

Friday was The Living Room.

Saturday marked my first time performing at Gotham Comedy Club. This was for Jessica Kirson's New Talent show that I think is a bringer, but having taken a one-on-one session, I was given a guest pass to perform.

Sunday featured two open mic sets. The first was at 8:00PM for the last Sunday Soiree at Botanica Bar. I had run this show since the summer, taking the torch from Joe Dixon who got it from Ian Jensen. Josh Filipowski started the show 5 years ago, and due to renovation of the show room, was asked to shut it down.

I had a really fun set at Perch Cafe around 10:00PM that prompted a giggling audience member to tell me after the show, "Your comic timing was PERFECT!"

Monday brought new faces to Root Hill open mic, the one I run (it's in a brand new coffee shop that won't need renovation any time soon!) It was fun to see the regulars and meet some newcomers to comedy I had seen on the commercial auditioning scene. Oh, actors who want to dabble in stand-up...care to master paint restoration while you're at it?

Tuesday was a day of rest, as the Good Lord commanded. Unfortunately The Mentalist does not come on Tuesdays so I was stuck hanging out with friends.

Wednesday was the day I was waiting for, where I could dress and perform as one of my favorite childhood comedians, Sinbad at Schtick or Treat. At Matt Ruby and Mark Normand's Halloween tribute show, my performance was sub-par. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast, but I focused more on trying to get his wording right and less on embodying his energy and mannerisms. Also I got a "rapper wig" (see above) which didn't fit my head very well and kept sliding upwards.

So instead of looking like this:


I looked like this:

4th Annual Living Room Scare-avaganza

Friday it rained hard, and just a day after Luke's surgery meant he had to stay home, and I would run The Living Room Show solo. It was our 4th annual Halloween Scare-avaganza! The place was full, there was a prize for best costume, and even though no one dressed up, Angela Lansbury still won.

Cold Chillin'

Luke had to have some minor outpatient surgery done last week. I refuse to admit that he is a victim of my Munchausen by Proxy. But doesn't seeing him in a hospital gown make you want to pay more attention to ME? He is my husband after all, and I had to pace the waiting room floor while he just lay there and had a nap. It was freezing in that waiting room by the way. And NObody offered me a blanket.

Don't Turn that Dial!

Here is ye old Home Goods ad.



And the story behind the shoot.

Bodega Bets

I'll bet you can't chase these whole purple plums in heavy syrup...



...with a a glass of this artificially flavored Fox-endorsed grape mix.