Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Fat Chance

This past Monday marked the return of the Root Hill Open Mic!

I was pumped to host the show. Giddy with excitement. Then about 4 minutes into my opening the vibe went south. My energy dropped, my confidence disappeared, and my desire to perform turned into a loathing of humanity. I was in the middle of working on a new joke called, "Dating Heavy".

"I don't like to joke about fat people. Have you ever been in love with someone who was overweight? The hugs alone are heaven! So soft and warm..." (this is the set-up to a joke that ultimately refers to uncooked pizza dough. I know. It's in the works.)

But in response to my rhetorical question one of the comedians at the mic playfully muttered something, and four comics around him burst into laughter.

Me: What did he say?

Audience: (Silence)

Me: Seriously, what did he say?

Luke: He said, "No."

Comic: (Mumbling again. More laughter.)

Me: What's he saying now?

Audience: (Silence)

Me: You're not going to tell me?

Luke: You asked if anyone had dated a fat person, and I told you, he said, "No."

Abbi: Well, now I've lost my train of thought. Any more outbursts like that, and you are cut from the list.

Audience: (Slight chuckle followed by Silence).

I didn't recover for the ENTIRE show. Every time I tried to comment about a performer I felt like I was antagonizing them. I was already bummed out about a few things that had happened this week: some articles I read online coupled with good old fashioned self-doubt. It happens to everyone, and it's what makes doing comedy so hard sometimes. Going through the motions when you don't feel like it. Getting out of your head about how you come across. Calmly dealing with distractions and bringing the focus back to yourself.

I am determined not to let that happen again, so I look forward to seeing you and your doughy behind at the next one!

Root Hill Open Mic
262 4th Ave (@ Carroll St)
Brooklyn, NY 11215
Mondays at 8:00PM, sign-up at 7:00PM


Mo Diggs said...

e-mail me who the comic was

Abbi Crutchfield said...

It doesn't matter. He wasn't trying to disrupt the show. We were all having fun beforehand, and if I had been in the right mindset, I would have used what he said to enhance my joke and moved on. I was just in a funk. How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose?

soce said...

I like big guys :-)

Abbi Crutchfield said...

I heard you also like Asian guys...

You are so fly in this video!

Abbi Crutchfield said...

Afterthought: totally missed my chance to make a Joe Wilson reference on stage.