Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Open Mic Smack Down

There is a mic across the street from the one I host on Monday nights in Park Slope, Brooklyn. I would like to take this time to address the producers of the Lyceum Mic.

It's good that Thanksgiving is around the corner, because I know right where to find a couple of TURKEYS. Lyceum open mic, your days are numbered. I'm gonna go out and I'm gonna buy a BLANKET and a PILLOW, and a BOTTLE and a DIAPER because when I get through with you, you'll be cryin' to your Mamas about how big, bad and mean the Root Hill Mic is. I don't know where you got the idea in your tiny, peanut brains that you could defeat the Root Hill, but my fists are gonna turn them into peanutbutter, and the only thinking you'll have to do is figuring out where to buy a cast big enough for all the carnage. Call your friends, call your family, call Radio Shack and tell them you're gonna have to return your sound equipment, because you have exactly one minute to pack up and leave town BEFORE THE ROOT HILL HURRICANE GETS DESTRUCTIVE ON YOUR SORRY, RINKY-DINK, ONE-MIC CIRCUS!!!

We had a great turnout at Root Hill last night, but everyone did their best impression of Jerry Seinfeld by popping in and popping out. Hats off to Charles Gould who made it his duty to stick around til the very last drop of comedy was squeezed.

For info on all open mics in the country, visit: badslava.com , the Best Open Mic list there is!

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