Wednesday, December 5, 2007


When preparing for a long bus trip, it is important to remember that comfort is key. Some people need food to be comfortable, others need a portable dvd player. As a woman hitting that time of the month, I needed protection. In the span of four hours, I could not rely on the brief pit stop to keep me feeling fresh, and so, I turned to diapers. Adult ones. Big, poofy, baggy, control-top Pampers.

It was my little (albeit bunchy) secret, and it was working. The first leg of the trip went without a hitch. I could nap, toss, turn, and the people around me were none the wiser. Only the baby across the aisle shook his rattle in solidarity.

At the half-way point, we all descended for fast food. I bought my Cinnabons and, once outside, found a sunny bench upon which to enjoy them. A presumptuous gentleman asked if he could join me. Begrudgingly, I shared my table. "As long as he doesn't try to chat with me..." I thought. A gust of wind blew my napkins off the table, and I bent down from my seat to follow them. They blew further away, so I got up, walked a few feet and crouched down to collect the scattered bunch. The guy instantly picked his food up and left. Instinctively I reached behind my back to tug my shirt down, and all I felt was the ribbed waistband of my diaper.

I know what you're thinking. What a jerk. But in his defense, the sun had moved, and maybe he just didn't feel like sitting on a cold concrete bench in the shade. You know how shadows can be so off-putting and ruin your appetite. Especially on a beautiful woman like me, who is far too young and normal-looking to be sitting in such large, conspicuous, absorbant...shadows.


fantasy weather league said...

I can't think of a single comment that can even begin to do justice to the hilariousness of this mental image. Good work.

fantasy weather league said...

But youtube tells me you aren't the only girl who prefers the sensible solution to long car rides.

Mo Diggs said...

I luvs this post

Abbi said...

I give the people what they want. XOXO (HUGGIES and kisses.)