Friday, December 21, 2007

Lite Bust

I won a Lite Brite at a White Elephant party, and in the spirit of Christmas, I will now complain about my presents.

I originally chose this toy to recapture my youth, but oh how times have changed. Or they haven't changed enough. I'm a little bummed that their supposed upgrade to "Flat Screen" does not come with Tivo or HD. What's worse, the surrounding monitor is thick and red instead of thin and white, so it takes away from the art I so painstakingly made. Instead of having the actual board be black, it comes with flimsy black paper templates, so you get a picture you can only make once (because when you remove the colored pegs, the instructions on which colors to use are punched through. That's like taking a subway map, and covering over each stop with a black Sharpie once you have visited it).

If you don't use the template, the red board glows brighter than the pegs. And let's talk about the pegs! (audience applause) They're bigger than they used to be. Usually when you grow up, a toy feels smaller in your hand, not bigger. Did I shrink? Or is someone trying to make sure this choking hazard does the job quickly?

My original Lite Brite plugged into the wall, and turned on or off.

This new one has a 3 minute timer. So it tells ME when it's time to stop playing. I don't think so LB. And what's that I see? The 1967 version came with tackle boxes of colors? How convenient. The new one has a rolodex compartment in the front that gets stuck, and the pegs come flying out as you jerk it open. Also, the holes on the original were very close together, providing endless possibilities of what you spelled or designed. The new one has holes a mile apart, so the only thing I can make is a smiley emoticon.

Call me Mom, but the pegs still get all over the place.

The good thing about a White Elephant party is you get to swap until you find something you like. You pick a number, and on your turn pick from the grab bag of presents or swap that chance for something that's already been opened. I could have brought home the blue and black Nunchucks I briefly had...

or this post could have been called Chocolate Dong.


fantasy weather league said...

Maybe you should have a cage match with luke, declaring that the only weapons you can use are the gifts you won, and the winner gets to take home both as their spoils- inevitably smashed to pieces- the lite brite will have sacrificed itself doing the only thing it is good at- knocking luke unconscious long enough for you to grab his awesome nunchucks and run.

Abbi said...

LOL. Genius. I considered donating this to Toys for Tots, but I don't know if I can do that to a child.

Chris Serico said...

WHAT is the DEAL with Lite Brite?!

Loved this commentary. Proving yet again that the only cool things for kids that ever existed were around when we were young.

Jerell said...

You passed on nunchucks for a pussy lite brite?! You could've been the first black female ninja (excluding Pam Greer in Foxy Brown).

Abbi said...

Thanks Chris. Like what about the Mop Top Hair Shop? Hours of Play-doh fun. Until someone asks for highlights.

Jerell, I had to trade my nunchucks for the LB-tron 2007. It was an agreement I made with Chuck Norris before you were born.