Wednesday, April 11, 2007

There's Always Room for Gimmick

From the minds of masochists, here comes a fun product. Giving new meaning to "instant" we now have JELL-O lip gloss by Lipsmacker. As the website states: “Clear and refreshing, it looks and tastes just like JELL-O!” I endorse this product, because I use this product. I use this product because the little kid in me loves this kind of crap. If only the adult in me would stop letting the little kid spend my money.

Maybe, Dr. Lipsmacker of Bonne Bell Industries, we shouldn't be bragging about how it tastes if it's not actually an edible product. That might confuse dieters. As for looks, although it is translucent, it stubbornly holds a non-jiggly, solid shape. Especially when you twist it out of its container. Might want to change that slogan to, "Real glue-stick quality!" but, you know, make it catchier and more appetizing.

It definitely smells like you have a spoonful of JELL-O right under your nose, but that gets weird after a while. No one smells the dessert they're eating longer than 2.5 seconds in a sitting. Maybe I should be worried that it's this simple to duplicate a product that tricks my senses. All of our food could easily be made of wax, and we wouldn't know it until our skin started sweating paraffin.

And how about the moisturization factor? If you're fool enough to buy something just because it has JELL-O on the package, you're not interested in things like quality. If you want vitamins and aloe, next time make sure the tube is brown with a light green array of leaves and insects encircling it. Bottom line: it feels like you smeared honey on your lips.

So clearly it was a mistake to buy this and I should probably just throw it awa--HEY! Did you know they also make one that tastes like MnMs??!?

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