Thursday, April 5, 2007

Check The Stats

Thanks to, I can check all sorts of cool things about this blog. One of my favorite things to look at is Keyword Activity. This is what people put in a search engine (usually Google) before they come up with my website. Let's review the recent searches, shall we?

1. aileen quinn photos recent

She wins the J.D. Salinger recluse award, because I get this a lot. Where are you, Ms. Quinn? We promise we only want to make you sing songs from the hit movie you were in twenty-five years ago. She's probably opened up a gourmet hot dog shop in Brooklyn and spends her days counting the register. As long as she stays hidden people still end up here, and that's okay by me.

2. cupcakes

Have I ever written about these in my life? Maybe in one post. Hard to believe nobody else has covered this topic. Like maybe Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery, Buttercup Bake Shop or Andy Samberg fans in their blogs.

3. can you get bad posture because of holding your pencil the wrong way?

I don't have an archive for myths propogated by 1st grade teachers, so I'll answer this directly: No, but you can get the seat wet. Badum-bum. FOCUS!

4. 12:34 wish superstition

"Superstition"? Try "instruction manual" my friend.

5. abbi crutchfield


6. placenta recipe

I'm so sorry I ever brought this up. Uh oh, wave of nausea coming. Think of something plain. Something pure. MTV. My Super Sweet Sixteen. Birthdays? Birth! Blaaah!

7. chris serico

Nice, funny and talented guy in an outstanding a capella group called Unsung Heroes. Go see them perform! Stop Googling yourself, Chris.

8. comedy monologues for kids 11 and older

This is my favorite. Because this is exactly the genre I want to belong to. Hey dorks! Glad you came back or whatever. Before we talk about how tardo our moms are, I have to say that the reason Katie left school is because she got pregnant from three different guys and had like seven abortions. Pass it on. Isn't Andy Samberg hot??? I had a dream I kissed him. J/K!!! OMG. I'm so fat. I had four french fries. The big ones, guys!!! Tomorrow is Diet Coke day. And if anyone asks if me and Katie are still friends they are gay. PS: U r gay. LOLOLOLOL.


activated_charcoal said...

My top keywords:

"jingle bells you suck"
"bme banned in america"
"toejob galleries"
"hilarious/ridiculous heavy metal"
"gulf coast hurricane"
2007 h.r. 1227 new orleans"
"sadomasochism and/or torture or men tied up"

I shit you not.

Abbi said...

They all sound random. Except for toejob galleries. That's your favorite thing. I want to Google that to find out what it is, but I don't want to land on the To Catch a Predator radar. Somebody lend me their laptop. Somebody who already Googled relations with inanimate objects or fungal fetish.

Chris Serico said...

That's too funny. :) Thanks for the kind words.

Oh, and I plead the Fifth on self-Googling.

Abbi said...

You are right to do that. I, on the other hand, blog about whenever I Google myself .