Monday, January 5, 2009


Happy New Year!

I went party-hopping in Washington, DC and finished with home-made chicken and waffles at 3:00AM. I resolve to eat more chicken and waffles on special occasions. Like breakfast.

Actually I resolved to write more this year. Jokes, blog posts, website contributions, sketches, love letters, thank you notes, journal entries, comics, clever Post-its, twitter tweets, e-mails, and messages in the snow with my urine. The goal of course is to become a well-oiled comedy machine, a human fortune cookie with a wise idea at all hours of the day. It may be the key to earning a living as a writer. Or at least becoming a darling of the open mic scene.

At the very least it will enhance the quality of my vows.

What's YOUR resolution?


Chris said...

Ok here goes:

1. Gain weight (Takes me 2 flights of stairs to start getting chest pains at the moment. Let's get that down to 1 flight)

2. Write less. Actually, why stop at writing. Do less of everything!

3. Lose readers at my blog. Actually, I've been trying to do that for years and it's having the adverse effect. Sigh.

4. Find Satan (I've loaded Stairway to Heaven on my iPod backwards to help move this along.)

5. Stop throwing away cheese that the wife brings back from France. (Seriously, she brought back Camembert from Paris and I threw it out thinking it had gone bad, then got lectured for the next 3 weeks of how bad was actually good with cheese. I was just shocked that there was cheese that didn't come out of a spray can)

deepsea33 said...

I resolve to post occasionally instead of lurking on my fave blogs! Abby is that you in the Nuva-Ring commercial? At about 0:45s

Happy 2009!

Erin said...

I apparently have high hopes for 2009.

1. To find the best calamari in Chicago and/or its surrounding areas.

2. To have kitchen, living room, and guest bedroom remodeling finished so that our home is better suited for entertaining purposes.

3. To ride my new beach cruiser. A lot.

4. To visit my best friend as much as possible - she just moved to California with her fiance.

5. To have an egg fertilized. (Preferably by my husband.)

6. To survive this coming semester of school, as the well of online classes as since dried and I am now obligated to get myself to and from campus four nights a week.

7. To take my first trip to Las Vegas - this should be accomplished next weekend! Yay Punk Rock Bowling!!

8. To go to Disney World at least twice this year. :)

9. To read more books. It used to be that you'd never see me without a book on my person.

10. To be the best (new) wife that I can be.

Chris said...


7. To take my first trip to Las Vegas - this should be accomplished next weekend! Yay Punk Rock Bowling!!

Damn you! [/jealousy]

Erin said...

@ Chris

It has taken me entirely too long to finally experience Vegas. I am extremely excited about this. The Punk Rock Bowling is just an added bonus.

The Critic said...

To finally take on and beat that wily Frenchman Marcel Proust and his heaping giant mountain of a novel A la recherche du temps perdu.

Abbi Crutchfield said...

@ Chris, I've got two of your readers! You can have Mo and Jerrell.

@ Erin, I was thinking of Disneyworld on my Golden Birthday (turning 27 on the 27th). But someone nearby muttered something about consumerism and downfall of America. Granted, I WAS in a Brooklyn coffee shop.

@ deepsea33, You will see what I call, "The Bizarro Me" on a lot of commercials. McDonalds, Jell-O pudding, etc. We can't look each other in the eye at auditions or the world would explode.

@ The Critic, just read "L'etranger" by Camus. It's light reading, and it makes you feel accomplished.

Stove said...

More Butter.

Miss Cellania said...

I resolve to get my carpet clean sometime before the end of 2009!

Wish me luck.

Seth said...

Finish and get out of school!

Ride my bike more.

Read books not about my research.

Be a better husband and more thoughtful gift giver.

Miss Poppy Hussein Dixon said...

Be less lazy. I missed starting on New Year's Day, though, and something keeps coming up each day that postpones starting my resolution. Yesterday it was a nap.

soce said...

OMG I have seen the fake Abbi C as well in various billboards on phonebooths and such. Glad to know I'm not the only one who has seen her.

As for my resolutions, I mainly want to get more exercise and go to bed earlier. And I want those kids to get off my lawn. Once I finally release my new album (it's been 3+ years in the making), then I will consider this year officially resolved.

The Critic said...

I've already read that one. I have an George Mallory complex. It's there. I must mount it.

Actually, I think most male dogs have that same complex.

Abbi Crutchfield said...

@ Stove: on steak! Have you ever? It's so (drool)...

@ Miss Cellania: Try something from that loud informercial man with a shoe polish beard.

@ Seth: Do it all at once: bust out of school on your bicycle, a bicycle built for two with your loving wife in the back, whilst you recite romantic poetry from a book you've read.

@ Poppy Hussein Dixon: Commenting on a blog is NOT lazy! Choosing not to comment is lazy. Your father and I are so proud of you.

@ Soce: Getting kids off lawns is easy. Pretend to remove a pistol from your jacket, and just pull out a finger. Oh, and squint.

@ The Critic: "Mount Every Complex" was a song the nuns sang in Sound of Music, until the title was changed.