Thank you for coming to this public address. Having received no entries, I hereby declare, as mayor of this great city, an end to the Annual Portrait Contest! (Audible gasps). I will now take your questions.
"Kent Brockman from The Simpsons here. Does this mean you will no longer accept artwork by your fans?"
People are more than welcome to submit any depictions of me they like. They just won't get an original portrait of themselves in return.
"Ms. Mayor! Trisha Takanawa from Family Guy. Are you removing the portrait element because you are bitter that no one submitted to this year's contest?"
Absolutely Trish. I'm trying to nurture an ego here.
"Ms. Mayor. Doug as painter Bob Ross with a question please."
"There were no more cartoon reporters available through a Google search. I am an impersonation of a PBS personality with his own painting show...as done by a cartoon called Doug that was popular in the mid-90s."
Okay, go ahead.
"When you paint happy little trees, do you still think about Patty Mayonnaise? Does it make you so mad at the brush, you just want to beat the devil out of it?"
I'm not taking any more questions.