Thursday, November 6, 2008

Who Knows Best? Political Comic vs. Observational Comic

Curly Comedy sits down with two performing stereotypes to interview them on their technique.

On President Jokes

Political Comic: If I weren't so angry about every president we've had in this country for the last thirty years, maybe I'd have time to golf. If a comic can't attack from the top down, he's a coward. Nobody gives a crap if your manager at Burger King's a jerk. He's probably upset about his 401K, no thanks to the President of the Divided States!

Observational Comic: Do you ever notice how Secret Service agents don't smile? I bet it's on their resume, "Objective: serious professional seeks to wear sunglasses and scowl." And how about the gardening staff? I'd hate to see them doing the morning rounds on the White House lawn. "He may be the First pet, but by gum this is his last turd!"

On Book Deals

Political Comic: Book deals are an essential step in a comic's career. The trajectory is as follows: comedy in clubs, book deal, T.V. talkshow guest, T.V. talkshow host, another book deal, make a documentary, run for office, book deal. Writing a series of ephemeral bestsellers is the retirement plan of any good comic-turned personality.

Observational Comic: I just finished penning my memoirs from age 37 to 40. It's called, "Out of Order? Order Out!" with a picture of me and some models playing my family at the dinner table. The turkey's burned, the wife is yelling at me, the kids are fighting over mashed potatoes, and I'm shrugging at the camera like, "Sheesh". You ever notice that when you're writing a novel, everyone wants to be in it? "Are you gonna write about me? Don't make me fat." No one's gonna see you! It's a BOOK!

On Mic Technique

Observational Comic: Do you ever notice how long the mic cord is? What are we, jumping rope with this thing later? How far away do I need to walk with this? Just how bad do you smell as an audience? I always tell kids that are starting out, the mic stand is your best friend. It's a prop, it's a person, it's a signifier that you're on the last joke. But does every mic stand have to be black? Mic stand's like, "Why? Something wrong with being BLACK?" No. Not at all. (rings collar) Sheesh.

Political Comic: Before the show I check the mic levels so I can yell as loudly as possible into it later. If anybody has fallen asleep after my recitation of the Declaration of Independence, shouting gets them back on track. Especially with a German accent.

On Family

Political Comic: I don't have a family.

Observational Comic: Gold mine! Kids say the darndest things, and mothers-in-law are a curse, and I'm not sure if wives shop more than they nag or nag more than they shop! "Take the trash out! Take the trash out!" Whaddya mean? I took you out last night. Do you know trash bags come scented now? I've got vanilla scented garbage. I take it out on a giant spoon.

2 comments:

Mo Diggs said...

Your personal best

Abbi Crutchfield said...

I thank you. My stereotypes thank you.