Friday, November 21, 2008

Who Knows Best? Black Comic Doing White Guy Impression vs. Asian Comic Doing Mom Impression

Welcome back to the "Who Knows Best" series. In these posts, Curly Comedy sits down with two performing stereotypes to interview them on their technique.

On Writing New Material

Black Comic Doing White Guy Impression: Most of my new material develops on stage. I hardly have time to sit down with a pad of paper and a pen because of my three kids. They keep me busy man. But they know to act right when the belt comes out. White parents are always afraid to use the belt. "What in the John Quincy Adams is going on around here? I respectfully asked you not to TiVo over my re-runs of Friends! You are in for a time out, Mister! WithOUT a fruit smoothie."

Asian Comic Doing Mom Impression: I write every day, all the time. My mom's like, "Why you do that? Why you no get a real job like Eunji? Eunji chiropractah--always fix my back problem! Watching you on stage give me back problem!" I know Mom, you're very disappointed in me. "I should be gobbage man!" A what? "A gobbage man, I pick up gobbage that come out of you mouth on stage. Huh huh! NOW who tell jokes?"

On Working Blue

Black Comic: You come up in the projects, you work the clubs on the tough side of town, you learn to win the crowds over with dirty jokes. Fact of life. Me, I grew up in the suburbs and went straight to TV, so working blue was more a rite of passage than a necessity.

Asian Comic: All women should know how to work blue. Because the first thing anyone is going to do is introduce you by your looks and not your talent on stage. You have to be twice as raunchy as them and knock them on their a--. Plus if you had parents that made you iron your pleated skirt after two hours of piano theory, being crass can be very cathartic.

On Touring with Friends

Asian Comic: Lesbians are a riot on tour. I stack the deck with someone who can talk about raising kids, someone who can talk about being divorced, and then I come on and do my repressed adult with boundary issues thing. At the end of the day, we all find common ground over a bottle of vodka and remembering George Carlin. He understood me more than my family. "Who dat old man on TV who complain all the time? He never heard of biting on broomstick until bad thougts go away?"

Black Comic: I travel solo. After a show, the emcee tells me where to get the honies, the middle act is my wing man, and my talent takes care of the rest. "Excuse me but does your father know you're talking to a black man right now? 'We respect you people and the way you run fast and dance well, but dog gone it, you are not going to give us mulatto grandchildren! What's next, a mixed President?'"

On Selling-Out Shows

Black Comic: Don't you ever call me a sell out.

Asian Comic: University shows are the easiest to fill. Kids can relate to the fact that I grew up like them and dress like them and still live like them.

5 comments:

Mo Diggs said...

That fruit smoothie line almost made me choke while eating my greek salad. Great!

Anonymous said...

I like how.... wait a minute. Mo was eating a salad?

Abbi Crutchfield said...

@ Mo: Thanks Boo.

@ Chris: Are you or are you not aware of the economic crisis going on?

Anonymous said...

Aware? It's killing me. I've had to downgrade from using Cristal to using Dom in my footbaths.

Abbi Crutchfield said...

Tell me about it. Actually tell my butler. He's married to my live-in masseuse, and together they just might stop asking for a day off if they realized the severity of the situation.