Friday, November 30, 2007

Holiday Decor-fake-shuns

I have always scoffed at giant, inflatable lawn ornaments and ceramic Nativity scenes, but for some reason, this Christmas, I am interested in transforming my studio. This notion comes at the same time I'm trying to tighten my belt because of the whole not-being-employed-during-the-shopping-season thing.

I spent two hours at Target and had buyer's remorse just looking at stuff. I walked around with a $14 set of glued wooden blocks that spelled, "Merry Christmas". After holding it for a while, I realized the M was upside down. It said, "Werry Christmas." That made me want it more, but I knew at the check-out I would have wanted to haggle for the misspelling. "No one is going to buy this. I'll give you fifty cents for it." Since all Targets of the world could burn down and they'd still have enough money to rebuild them with roller coasters inside, they don't change the price of anything.

I picked up and put down forty more items, and finally left with a red ribbon for my door. On the way home I saw a pile of loose branches by the Christmas trees. Remembering my creative roots (I once made a car for my Barbie out of a Kleenex box), I asked the vendor if I could take some of the branches home. She said yes, if I made a donation. I heard Chris Rock's voice in my head, "How much for a soda? How about if I take a sip for 15 cents? F[orget] the cup, just pour it in my hand for a dime." I said, " about just the brown ones...away from the pile, on the ground?" She sighed and told me I could pick from the pile. Then she offered me a bag to carry them. Then a sandwich.

I put the ribbon on my door and the sack of branches in a corner. My house looks exactly the same, and I am overwhelmed by this pressure. I decide that's good for this year.

So relax. Maybe it's not taste holding you back from decorating, but laziness.

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