Friday, November 23, 2007

Happy Over-eating

In honor of the holiday, friendly forwards, and the dvd of Follow That Bird that I found at the bottom of a $5 bin, here is a picture of seasonal fellowship.

I was prepared to live-blog the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, but the ridiculous staging sucked all of the comedy out of me. How can I top 23 year old baton twirlers, bored audience members or Willard Scott chattering animatedly to the camera with no audio?

I'm sure it was something about Smuckers.

Most out of place award is a three-way tie among:
pre-packaged boy bands (not extinct, it turns out)
ill-conceived balloons (Ronald McDonald?! The Burger King makes better commercials AND a better Halloween costume)
and floats of blonde-haired, blue-eyed Native Americans smiling and singing in their Navajo language. Loose translation: "Thank you for taking our lands. Thank you for cutting off our hands. Thank you for the Black Friday Sale, and mostly for Ashley Tisdale!"

Then hers truly came out on a float and held up a sign explaining that she is not Ashlee Simpson, despite the same nose job, malnourished frame, blonde extensions and lack of talent.

It's like a knock-off of a knock-off. That was stolen from you and later returned.

I perked up at the hint of a sneak preview of Xanadu. Finally, I get to see what this musical is about! The cast comes out on roller skates, wheels around and sings some Meatloaf ballad, the only intelligible word of which is Xanaduuuu. Apparently it's a giant commercial for Johnny Rockets. Then Tay Zonday burst through my living room singing Chocolate Rain, and everything made perfect sense.

On the bright side, my son made his television lipsynching debut.

I am so proud of you, Cordon Bleu.


Crutch said...

Knock off of a knock off! Nice one...the blog entry I mean.


Abbi said...

Gracias Hermana,
I almost wish I had been staring at turkey guts that hour. Might have turned my stomach less!