Neighborhood Watch

Ms. McAlear, one of the best teachers on the planet, taught me about respondent conditioning using Pixy Stix. We put a tiny pile of sugar on our desks, and when she raised her arm and said, “PAVLOV!” We would lick our finger, dip it in the tart powder and put some on our tongues. Minutes later, she could raise her arm, and we’d drool like dogs.

Heaven help the show that brings me up to the stage with music. The pelvis juts forward, the shoulders start bouncing uncontrollably, my feet rise and fall like they’re tied to paint cans. It’s a move I like to call, “Why Wait ‘til You’re 60?”, and it happens involuntarily when I’m about to hit the stage. PAVLOV!

Fortunately, DJ Les Boogie knew when to cut the music. I had a blast at the Five For Funny Tuesdays show at The Five Spot.

This time it took place on a Saturday to celebrate the two-year anniversary of Neighborhood Watch, the Five Spot’s in-house, all-black sketch troupe. My buddy Dave Lester performed in the sketches AND closed out the show with stand-up, so he had Hadiyah Robinson host the event. She was hilaaaaarious. She probably thinks she did material mixed with basic crowd work, but it was much more. If everything I said after meeting someone cracked them up like that, people in the office wouldn’t keep saying, “You’re a co-MEEEEE-dian?” I'm thinking about carrying a picture in my pocket of Charlie Sheen with a cartoon bubble from his mouth that says, “Martina? Meet Martini,” so they will fall on the floor with laughter. PAVLOV!

Five for Funny Tuesdays
8:00 PM, $5 cover
The 5 Spot
459 Myrtle Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11205