Friday, April 18, 2008

Goodness Gracious Great Walls of Hair

A lot of people in New York City are griping about Pope Benedict XVI's visit causing major traffic delays. In continuation of religious intolerance, I present to you the hairstyles and fashion of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

These ladies are in the news for one of the largest custody battles in history: over 400 children are being removed from a polygamist compound. Not only was this a hair-raising experience (Pun-o-meter rating: 8 out of 10) but to make matters worse, Modest Mouse is suing for copyright infringement.

Let the scoffing begin. You would never find a Baptist Minister with such a tower of tresses!

Or a self-respecting Catholic with such awful shoes

or archaeic, stifling button-down attire

Sigh...denim shirts.

Or a Jewish man with multiple partners half his age!

What I am trying to say is this country has no right to point the finger. Why look at the former cast members of the Mickey Mouse Club today.

"After graduating from a life of being controlled by adults and told what to wear and do, we did not know where to turn. Luckily Henrick Goodspeed came to the rescue. Like a master in a dog kennel, he took one look at us and said 'They'll do'. Sigh. We'll do! Those were our vows, and we've been happily sewing bonnets for the Moon Festival ever since."

Is this about control or is it about modesty? Is this about polygamy or is it about the NATURAL and HONEST joy of having multiple partners who will never have their own multiple partners and who will never challenge your authority or get old because they will always be replaced by a younger version? If loving doormats is wrong, I don't want to be right. Besides, global warming will have us all in burqas by 2015.

I leave you with a few thoughts from a comments section of the Tribune's Blog on Polygamy:

Paul M said...
I like the way that these girls dress. They are modest, and look very nice. I wish all the fundamentalists would dress more modestly. It actually looks better to me!

There is nothing wrong with dressing right and being modest.


1:48 PM

Ben said...
Paul M: there is a special spirit that exudes from a modestly-dressed woman, is there not? Modest clothing allows a woman to let her true, natural, God-given beauty show through, rather than the finery of expensive clothing and adornments.

4:19 PM

Paul M said...
Yes, that is true! I feel that the modern clothes take away from the true beauty of women. I agree with yo (sic) Ben!

8:16 PM

Question said...
What is most important is not the dress but conduct.

A woman may dress modestly but not live chastely. A woman may dress somewhat revealingly and yet live a chaste life.

Judge not the book by its cover.

2:41 PM

Ben said...
Of course, question, I don't think anyone is equating modesty with meaning automatic chaste behavior. Heck, one of the most unchaste people I have ever known was a "good little church girl", always dressed modestly just as her preacher father required her to be. I doubt he had any idea what happened UNDER her long skirts and dresses, though!

No, we should never assume that modest dress equates with righteousness, nor that revealing dress equates with unchaste behavior. We are all at different levels of progression in our understanding, and we should be tolerant of all who are seeking to do that which is right, regardless of outward appearances.

1:37 PM


Anonymous said...

Myself, I like a modestly dressed woman. Floral print skirts, beehive hair, this is what I'm all about.

There is definitely something to be said about librarians. Wool cardigans. Corduroy. Yeah.

Abbi said...

LOL. Wrinkles. Chain on glasses. Papercuts. Hot.