Had a gig at the top of the week at a favorite venue: Alibi Lounge. It was past my bed time, so I yawned a lot in anticipation. They say dogs yawn when they're afraid.
The show, run by two lovely ladies, Nakia and Nadine, is called Monday Night Moments (LOL Comedy Night), so here are some of the moments from that LOL evening.
Moment 1: Senior Special
I am waiting for other comics to arrive and have yet to meet the host. I order a drink, walk around, and chat up the ladies at the door. "Whatchoo drinkin'? Sex on The Beach?"
--Uh, no, this is cranberry and pineapple juice.
"Just beach then."
Moment 2: Minute Maid
I meet Nadine and ask her where the other comics are. "It's all you."
It's just me?
"Yeah, you're the performer!"
--Oh. I uh...so how much time do you want me to do?
"How much do you want to do?"
--(Ten) I'll do 20.
I ended up doing 25 by, as Luke calls it, pulling some jokes out of my anus. I have successfully sustained audiences with a longer feature set, but I thought I was going to be a part of a lineup, and had only prepared a tight ten. Lesson to the rookies: prepare for a longer set no matter where you are. Also leave Nadine alone. See Moment 3.
Moment 3: Know Your Audience
I think Nadine thought I was nervous, either because I was walking around a lot or pestering her while she mingled. Do you know Del? Do you know Robin Cloud? She looked at me, touched my arm and said, "Do you know who you're performing for?" I had seen everyone in the room, but I looked around again for her benefit.
--Yeah! I'm gonna be on Snatchtastic at Angels in Kings this Sunday. It's run by Robin Cloud. Do you know her?
"Okay, good..." and she walks away.
Allow me to let you, the reader, pan around the hypothetical room.
She would be there
She would be there
She might-could be there
(Indelible memories of Set It Off)
And who sticks out like a sore thumb?
Old blue eyes. He keeps leaning towards me and grabbing my hands while he talks to me. I keep pretending I don't know him. I wish he would go talk to the bartender, the only other white man in the room. I tell him to call himself my manager, Carl.
Moment 4: Show time, Synergy
I meet Nakia, the other host and the one who invited me. She puts on headphones, and it's officially a night club scene with low lights and loud music. I am loving the songs she picks! I keep doing the robot, because I'm half-white. Other women are dancing for themselves in the mirrored wall. All of a sudden the music stops and the lights come up. I take the "stage", by moving foot stools and standing in front of the DJ booth, next to the entrance. There is some murmuring and zombies mill about, just like when a school dance is over, and the magic room turns into the cafeterial again. I kick off the set with some audience interaction, and Nadine joins me on the stage while all the other members of the audience chime in. It's like we're all in the ladies room, except one of us has a microphone.
Moment 5: I Told You Know Your Audience
I ask who is dating in the room, and only one hand goes up. It's a promoter I met earlier in the evening, Kenya.
--You, Kenya? What are you doing in here then?
"I like to look,"
--Where's your person?
Several voices repeat, "Person? Person?! Oh Lord..."
--Girl. Woman. Lady you are cheating on. Chick that is not good enough. Hetero guilt stifles the vocabulary.
It was a great night, and one of the most fun audiences I have had in a while. I only lost a portion of them. After applauding in celebration of a girl's birthday, a group of women leaves two jokes in. The birthday girl announces at the door, "I'm really drunk."
She should have tried the Beach.
Hot Nickels Entertainment presents...
Monday Night Moments, the Lounge Party for Women
(LOL Comedy Night)
116 MacDougal St #C
New York, NY 10012
For cover and more info: www.myspace.com/hotnickelsent