Saturday, January 6, 2007

We're All Old

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I recently performed in a show that had the laughs in the right places but an overall sense of "Huh?" from the audience. This could be because I was not on my A-game that night, or it could be attributed to the fact that a lot of the crowd was young and male. If I were a college comic the room would have rocked with hoots and spilled beer. But instead, the candles on the tables flickered periodically from chuckles, and I was unsure of whether my Alan Thicke references would be properly savored.

Dear youthful crowd,
I don't want to let an age gap between us intimidate me because no matter who you are, there is someone younger than you. You know how you think you're awesome because you scored a fake id? Try to rock a pair of Heely's. Hear that? It's the sound of your youth whizzing by.

If you don't think you're old yet you will. It happens by accident. Your eyes trail from the comics to the electronics ads. Then they see a picture of a politician. Then they read the article! You think,Stop. Go back to reading the comics. Sigh, these jokes are so...unfulfilling. Wait, I mean they suck. Yeah. These comics suck. Hey, what's this? Today's Family Circus is so...touching. You're not the loudest on the subway anymore. Then someone calls you Sir, and you laugh, and they're serious. Your parents don't even have to have gray hair yet or stop paying for your loans for the transition to happen.

So just live life and try not to regret how old you are or how lame the older girl on stage is when she says, "Who's watchin' the Antiques Road Show here? I see ya! I see ya!"


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