Friday, August 21, 2009

Cracklin' the Case



A week after the break-in of my apartment I am still unhappy with the investigation. The cops arrived promptly and answered my questions, but after I signed the report there was little follow-up. The fingerprint team hardly dusted for anything, saying CSI is just a show that exaggerates the process. I should have guessed that since none of the officers spoke in witty puns or wore sunglasses indoors.

I resolved to do my own detective work. Initially I was hoping that the crooks would leave something behind, like a skull ring. I would wear it, and then when someone on the street reacted subtlely to it, I would say, "That's the guy!" and two cops would appear out of nowhere and chase him, catching him in an alley where a gate would be too high to climb. Well I didn't uncover a ring, but I did find evidence!

A small, dry, blue, lightweight circle. At first glance it looked like a shriveled Froot Loop.


...but the texture was more like Cracklin' Oat Bran



...only more triangular in shape. Someone suggested it may be kitty litter, but the Google image search of "kitty litter" is making me dry-heave at my desk, so those results are inconclusive. Maybe the crooks work part-time at a pet store!

I have placed the foreign object in a baggie, and whenever I get my microscope, testubes and push-up bra, I'll be ready to examine it more closely, night time drama-style. If anyone has any hot tips, please leave them in the comments section.

5 comments:

soce said...

When my good friend got robbed a few years ago, he had to go to the police like 4 or 5 times to try to identify people. I think they may have eventually found someone, possibly.

Chris said...

*picks up the cereal*
"It looks like these thieves picked the wrong apartment..."
*puts on sunglasses*
"To have breakfast in bed"
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Chris said...

BTW, you never told us what the evidence tasted like.

You did taste it to make sure it wasn't kitty litter right?

Jerell said...

Maybe it was Mikey from those Life cereal commercials.

Abbi Crutchfield said...

@ Soce: Your story is full of too much uncertainty. Get back to me with COLD HARD FACTS young man!

@ Chris: LOL! You made me do a spit take. Actually, I have re-visited the evidence, and found what I think is a paint chip on it. I can't risk led poisoning.

@ Jerell: Yeah! He'll eat anything. Welcome back! You haven't posted a comment in forever!