Wednesday, July 15, 2009
There are two things you can count on in a New York City bodega.
1) The hamburger buns smell like kitty litter (Luke Cunningham has a hilarious bit on this)
2) Old products never die.
Apparently no one is ashamed when non-perishables from the 1970s creep their way to the front of the shelf. This Durkee garlic salt sticks out like a sore thumb. The brown label says, "My Cutlass gets 10 miles to the gallon, Jack!" and the red and yellow dots prove the color orange has not been invented yet. Applying this garlic salt might just put shag on your chest.
But let's not spare the other options:
Accent! (with a misplaced accent) says "Great on Lowfat foods" - implying that lowfat foods taste awful, so please keep making your refried beans with lard. They have also personified Food Flavor, which is an interesting marketing choice. Maybe they assume you are cooking with something that's still alive. "Wake up your food before you put its lights out for good!"
McCormick Italian Seasonings and Lemon and Herb Seasonings seem normal enough-- for Magnum, P.I. Someone want to update the artwork a little? Maybe think beyond Bob Ross illustrations since he's not around to make them anymore.
La Flor garlic. Saving you time by chopping it for you, and saving you the trouble of leaving it out for bugs to crawl in. Don't worry about that dark brown object getting out. It's sealed for your protection.