Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Off the Cuff

Dreams are coming true! I taped video commentary for MTV on Friday*. I didn't get any snapshots from inside the studio, but here's what I looked like that day.

Abbi Gives Self Thumbs Up

...only without the thumbs up and with a raised eyebrow that says, "I know what's cool, kids".

And here's what was happening in the 42nd St-Times Square subway immediately afterwards.

Subway Performers

I could appreciate the performance a lot more after watching a video of young Katy Perry cooing to adoring fans. There's Tom Cruise, and there is your high school speech and debate coach who had Intro to Acting with Tom Cruise.

I treated myself to cookies at Herald's Square and the same song I rated--"I Kissed a Girl"--began playing in Mrs. Fields.

Mrs. Fields

You can't get to a television, you say? Well here is a sample of musings about other music videos that are out right now:

Bleeding Love (Leona Lewis)



-Good to see Beyonce's extensions strike out on their own.
-People of questionable race date each other in the music video world.
-Bleeding love is not as gross as it sounds. Unless it's a heavy flow day.

Lollipop (L'il Wayne)



-Ah, promotion of generic suckers. Picking up where doctors' offices left off.
-(He repeats, "Drop it like it's hot") Using lyrics from old songs makes it easier to focus on sampling melodies.
-(Footage of women lying down, covered in suckers) American Beauty thanks L'il Wayne for a reason to be relevant again

Still Will (50 Cent)



-(50 punches cell wall) I beat the paint off my walls too. It's called cheap New York housing materials.

Touch My Body (Mariah Carey)



-Movies before music videos are like pickles on a peanutbutter sandwich. Hate 'em or hate 'em.
-Ironically, the guy in the video never fantasizes about touching her body, just playing lazer tag with it.
-Mariah Carey: turning tanktops into dresses since 1992.

Leavin' (Jesse McCartney)



-How can he fly her on a G5 jet if he can't afford bed sheets? Actions speak louder than words, Jesse.

Tattoo (Jordin Sparks)



-Is it stalking when you're walking in front of your victim?
-Tattoos on the heart are both painful AND dangerous.

No Air (Jordin Sparks again)



-This is a song about morning hallitosis
-Getting "no air" affects your judgment. Makes you dress like the characters in Babysitter's Club
-Chris Brown practices drums the way I did. By sitting on them and farting.

For more behind-the-scenes coverage of such a gig, read Matt Ruby's Blog.

*FNMTV Music Video Blocks air
Monday - Friday at 7:00 AM - 10:00 AM ET/PT
Monday - Thursday at 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM ET/PT

2 comments:

soce said...

Congrats and great commentary! You would make a great talking head!

Abbi Crutchfield said...

Thanks Soce! I keep telling that to Sharper Image, but they refuse to make an automaton bust of me singing my jokes. Something about, "You'll never be as big as Elvis...blah blah blah."