With a Network gig, a character show, and a late-night sketch, Friday July 11th was cut out to be a busy night. Like Mr. T, I ate my vitamins, did my homework, and then I bent a parking meter to bone up for the challenges to come.
1:00PM MTV Taping
We all remember my glee in getting the chance to provide video commentary on Katy Perry's song, "I Kissed a Girl." In hindsight, I didn't make fun of the swimsuit enough. I know it's an homage to 1940s pinups, but there's a reason the high-waisted belt went out of style. She may not know it now, but the end of her 20s will be marked by the development of a pelvic bump, lovingly known by most 6th graders as The Pooch. "I grew a pooch, and I hide it! Hope my boyfriend won't find it!"
8:00PM The Sh** at M. Shanghai Bistro
I had little time to head home, pick up a pantsuit and a wig and ride the train into Williamsburg. Jay Nog's show started out as a sweltering basement and finished as a cozy comedy club. The show had brick walls, candle-lit tables, inebriated audience participation and a dj. I performed as Dr. Erick Newberry, feminist motivational speaker. Did I motivate them? You'd better believe your charred bra I did.
12:00AM Liquid Courage at UCB
I left Williamsburg* at 11:00PM to rush over to assist The Bacivo Nuggets in one of their two extraordinary sketches. My part was as Andy Kleiman's co-worker, a complex character affectionately named, "Abbi". Playing someone by the same name has sparked a feeling in me that can best be described when He-Man's pet Cringer morphs into the fierce beast Battle Cat**. It's an ego booster that only a Tony Danza can understand.
*Alias: Billyburg Alias: Hipster-topia Alias: Where have all the black folks gone, oh-hoo?! Yippe-aye yippe-yay.
** I had to look these names up because I am not a nerd. You are a nerd. YOU ARE! (Sobs, running out of the room. Hip catches on corner of table. Stumbles backward. Then wails louder and leaves.)