Hulk Love Living Room!

I don't know what your living room is like. Maybe there's a coffee table, maybe a love seat. But does your flat screen television have NYC's best talent in 3D?

This Friday at The Living Room Show

VINCE AVERILL (Comedy Centra's Live at Gotham) hosts

TOM SHILLUE (Comedy Central Presents; The Daily Show)
BARATUNDE THURSTON (Web Editor of The Onion, Future Of on the Science Channel)
CRAIG BALDO (The Colbert Report; Important Things with Demtri Martin)
ABBI CRUTCHFIELD (VH1, MTV)
SKINNY BITCH JESUS MEETING (UCB Theater; Edinburgh International Fringe Festival)

Photo credit: Lorna Keuning

Positively Awesome Asians Tonight!

I am so excited for this evening's show! If you haven't been, this is definitely a great night to come.

VIDUR KAPUR (Just for Laughs, NBC's Stand Up For Diversity)
HARI KONDABOLU (John Oliver's Standup Show on Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live)
JEN KWOK (College Humor, NBC's Stand Up For Diversity)
SHAWN PEARLMAN (Comix, UCBT LA)

**Special live duet with Jen Kwok and soce!**

Cellar 58
58 2nd Ave, btw 3rd and 4th Sts
No Cover, 1 Delicious Drink Min

Black Mystery Month

My latest post on Pepsi We Inspire is about my celebration of Black History Month--as commanded by the powers that be.

Some people were able to stand out in high school. It was easy for me—I was the only black student in my entire senior class. In February I was appointed the reader of Black History moments over the intercom, which is kind of like making someone with the last name Purdue explain roasting methods. Was I supposed to have some kind of insider’s secret?

Click here to read the whole post! And don't forget to leave a comment or share it on Facebook!

Thirsty?

On Wednesday I will have a colonoscopy (I look good for 70, don't I?). The night before I will need to drink a prepping solution. When I picked it up from the pharmacy I was a little surprised.

"THAT'S what I have to drink?"
--Yes. Best to do it in two hours or it won't be effective.
"I have to drink that whole thing?"
--No.
(I breathe a sigh of relief)"Oh thank goodness!"
--Just to the fill line.

Some People Never Change (Their Shirt)

My mom gave me the gift of a lovely and colorful long-sleeve shirt this past Valentine's Day.

I liked it because it felt familiar. The turquoise, the bright pinks, the subliminal floral pattern...where have I seen it before?

My Love Life: Then and Now

My latest post on Pepsi We Inspire is about the treachery that overshadows a middle school dance.

Our height difference was immediately apparent. We became tongue-tied and held eachother's hips, swaying like a tethered dinghy. I could sense by the end of the song that he was going to make his move and ask me to be his girlfriend. I did what any 13-year-old girl would do: I ran out and hid under the water fountain.

Click here to read the whole post! And don't forget to leave a comment or share it on Facebook!

Flash forward to today, where I've stopped running and hiding in exchange for a man I can wear heels around. My husband and I are both performing tonight on "Stand Up. Lie Down. With Dr. Lisa Levy". After performing, we'll take turns on the couch getting analyzed. You might remember I did this show last month and complained so much about life changes that my last prescription was "have kids when you're good and ready." What will it be tonight?

Sometimes Some Crimes Go Slippin' Through the Cracks

ARGH! I did it again! Last night I was scheduled to leave Positively Awesome early to perform on someone else's show. I guess I was so focused on producing that I forgot to hand the reins over. I wish I could say it was the first time this has happened.

The shows I've missed in my life (and the people who have accepted my apologies):

Little Ethnic Girls and Friends at Stand-up New York (Maria Shehata and Helen Hong)
Ed Sullivan on Acid at Freddy's Back Room (Pat O'Shea)
Custer Fluck (Jeff Ashworth)
Beauty Bar (Vince Averill and Jesse Popp)
Kofi Anan and the Laugh Squad at Chelsea International Hostel (Jay Welch)

I'm not posting this to broadcast that I have early-onset Alzheimer's but more as a way of holding myself accountable. Especially during busy weeks where I have a show every night. Next time I miss your gig, your pizza's hot, or it's FREE!

Eight is Great

Look at all the amazing things that can happen to you when the clock strikes 8:00PM!

MON FEB 15
8:00PM Society Comedy at Society Cafe

TUES FEB 16
8:00PM Positively Awesome at Cellar 58
8:30PM Kofi Annan and the Laugh Squad at Chelsea International Hostel

WED FEB 17
8:00PM Request for Cookies at The Creek

THURS FEB 18
7:00PM Stand Up. Lie Down. with Dr. Lisa Levy at Ochi's (arriving at 7PM helps you anticipate the magical things yet to come)

FRI FEB 19
8:00PM The Nat Turner Review at Point Break Bar

SAT FEB 20
9:00PM Ochi's After Dark (flirt with someone at 8PM then bring them to this show! SCORE)

SUN FEB 21
8:00PM Kakadoodle at Covo Restaurant and Bar

Let the inspiration begin!

I am now joining the ranks of Queen Latifah, Taraji P. Henson and Raven Symone as a friend on Pepsi We Inspire:

This week I reminisced about how awesome it used to be to get candy and cards and not have to hear adults whine about what a commercial holiday it is.

To my and every other 8-year-old’s amazement at School 91 it was a day when our educational institution sanctioned the exchange of love notes (gasp!) and sugar (WHAAAT?!) This was different from Halloween where in order to get candy you had to bump into countless monsters and risk having nightmares.

Click here to read the whole post! And don't forget to leave a comment or share it on Facebook!

Vote for Me then Come Give Me a Hug

March Comedy Madness is upon us! It's a competition among 64 stand-ups who go head-to-head until the final four. I'm currently at 69 votes. Aw, sooky sooky now!

CLICK HERE TO VOTE!

Don't cheat and vote too many times from your same IP address, or they will think I did it and disqualify me.

Do you need a hug?



I'll be at Hug Life tonight at Luca Lounge at 8:00PM!
220 Ave B, 10009

JARED LOGAN
GABE LIEDMAN
HARRISON GREENBAUM
JAMIE LEE
ROSS HYZER
CAROLYN CASTIGLIA

This is what the show feels like:

Positively Awesome BONUS

Get in here and warm up right before the Blizzard of 2010 (don't worry, it won't hit until Wednesday).

HADIYAH ROBINSON (BET's Comic View, NBC's Stand Up for Diversity)
TOM SHILLUE (Moonwork, Comedy Central Prsents)
VLADIMIR CAMANO (Comedy on the Hump)
MATT GOLDICH (Premium Blend, Best Week Ever)

Tonight we're introduing Positively Awesome: Night Shift, so the comics that gather in the back of the room get to take a turn on stage. In the last 30 minutes, we are letting 6 comics sign up to take the stage. They must buy one drink to be eligible.

To get a guage on what the show's like, here's something that's NOT Positively Awesome: Whole Foods charging the same price for two completely different sizes of cheese.


Gouda grief! See you tonight!

I Answer Stupid Ass Questions

Instead of selfishly publishing answers to inquiries here via the Ask Abbi series, I am sharing my knowledge by answering questions all week long on Stupid Ass Questions.

Dear SAQ’s: I am having friends over for dinner and want it to look like I spent a lot of money on the beverages...Would it work if I used my Snapple empties and filled them with a generic powdered mix? I figured I could put clear tape around the top and make it look like they are still sealed.

I respect your vision, but nothing good ever comes in powder form. Gun powder, powdered eggs, the movie Powder...and don't get me started on baby powder--have you tried that? It tastes nothing like babies...

Visit StupidAssQuestions.com to read the full response, and check back there all week long for more absurdity!

Photo credit: literacycoachingonline.org

To-mic's the Mic

If I could start my open mic over, I would call it that.


Hey jaded Grammy viewers! Root Hill Open Mic is happening this evening, and it just might be the thing you need to forget about Taylor Swift. Come free your demons.

MONDAY Feb 1 - Root Hill Open Mic
Root Hill Cafe (262 4th Ave at Carroll St)
Brooklyn, NY 11215
8:00PM, FREE, sign-up at 7:00PM
Click here for more info

Now rub your eyes and look at the rest of this amazing week in comedy!

TUESDAY FEB 2 - Positively Awesome

Andrew Singer and I have put together a rad show that gets better with each episode. The lineup is so amazing, when I say it and smile, my tooth sparkles.
Cellar 58 (58 2nd Ave, between 3rd and 4th streets)
New York, NY 10003
8:00PM, 1 drink

WEDNESDAY FEB 3 - TBD Comedy

Greg Collet's show makes living in Greenpoint feel like living in Greenpoint.
Bar TBD (224 Franklin St)
Brooklyn, NY 11222
9:30PM, FREE

FRIDAY FEB 5 - Mama D's Arts Bordello

Come fly with me! "The Jet Set" features storytellers and my stand-up on the subject of travel.
Parkside Lounge (317 E. Houston)
New York, NY 10002
8:00PM, FREE

SATURDAY FEB 6 - Love Auctionally

Amazing music, live comedy featuring Joe Garden (The Onion), and a fast-paced auction for some fantastic goodies. All to support Love146.org.


This is an actual person I know. He's my buddy Dave, and even though I exploit him for his looks, but he is a purple belt auctioning off private Martial arts lessons. Judo CHOP!