Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem

Last weekend I went to a friend's house to attend a cookie-making party. Despite receiving an informative e-mail, I did not know we were baking tasty gifts for others. I thought I was signing up for an All-You-Can-Eat dessert buffet. By the end of the session we had four kinds of cookies, two kinds of fudge and one kind of swirled chocolate-peppermint bark. Then we were handed many colorful gift bags. I took the bags home, for later assembly, as they instructed.

Even though I now grasp the concept of giving the cookies away, I have done nothing but eat them all week long. I don't think there are enough left to make an appropriate gift bag now. What's worse, I told Luke to stay away from them so I could give them away. He hasn't had one yet.

My name is Abbi Crutchfield, and I am the human cookie monster.

Photo credit:


H. Alan Scott said...

cookies are not meant to be shared, they aren't meant to be gorged. eat that shit up!

Chris said...

And death to anybody who considers a baked oatmeal and raisin concoction as a "cookie".

That's just gruel cake with old grapes.

Mo Diggs said...

Dude, my word verification thing was Plato!

Abbi said...

@ H. Alan Scott: YEAH! It felt so right.

@ Chris: LOLOLOL. And can we sign a petition to eradicate scones from all coffee shops? Down with triangular cement!

@ Mo: Is that your Keanu Reeves impression?

tommy p said...

Abbi, I feel your pain, I got this nasty delicious chocolate assortment for a gift this afternoon, I planned on being good and giving it away but it fell and broke clear open, can you imagine that? well, i started a repair job that was poo-poo, now it's 9pm im still at work and ive worked through half the box, lets read the label and see whats up:

3 pieces to a serving, a serving equals 140 calories and there's 14 servings.

there's ten pieces left and my belly don't feel too good, better get a diet coke to settle it down.