Monday, May 5, 2008

Joe Salzone You'll Get Your Pictures

Luke, you'll get your dinner.

Chris, you'll get your post on my influences.

Carlos, you'll get your money.

Jackee, you'll get your spin-off series "Sandra Clark: Las Vegas Madame" as soon as Lifetime producers get back to me.

Mo, you'll get your Hannah Montana vanity set when supplies are shipped from China.

Diana, you'll get your couples day at the spa when I convince your husband that Kanye and Jay-Z do it all the time. And they do.

Carolyn, you'll get your mansion as soon as I scratch off this lotto ticket and pay off Carlos.

Mike from England in Japan, you'll get your International Man of Mystery degree when I find the right-sized gold sticker.

Jesse, you'll get your six pack when I finish my hypnotism course.

Adria, you'll get your world peace when I figure out how to totally obliterate Iran.

I think I've covered all my readers.


Chris said...

*kicking myself for not requesting the same thing as carlos*

Abbi said...

This was going to be a temporary post, replaced with one talking about Cinqo de Mayo, but now that you have left a funny comment, it must remain forever. I hope you're happy with yourself.

Mo Diggs said...

that's more than i have

Jerell said...

What about me? I don't get my Ann Coulter books on tape?

Abbi said...

J, you'll get your Ann Coulter books on tape, and Mo, you'll get your reparations.

For the record, Luke never got his dinner. I think I saw him eating hot sauce packets last night.

Carolyn said...

Hahahaha - this post made my life.

But seriously - where's my house?

Heidi said...

I would settle for an original piece of art.... or another 1 woman show.

Abbi said...

Miss CKC, will you settle for a shoebox diarama? I'll put a cut-out of Aunt Jemima in your play room, representing the Caribbean nanny that tells your daughter her relationship woes.

Dear Heidi, My fake-one-woman-shows are hitting a coffee shop near you. I have measured the hanging space and just covered a dumpster canvas with Gesso. In other words, I am ready to start your painting!