Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Conspiracy Theory



Fact: Hillary won Indiana and Barack won North Carolina. In other words, a white woman won in Indiana, and a black man won in North Carolina.

Fact: My mother is a white woman from Indiana, and my father is a black man from SOUTH Carolina.

Fact: Hillary and Barack both care about the American people.

Fact: My parents both care about me, and I am American.

Fact: Comedic actors Richard Kind and Rondell Sheridan have the same father.



Fact: A mixed breed dog has less health problems than a pure breed dog

Fact: Peanut butter and chocolate are two great tastes that taste great together

Conclusion: This Friday at 8:00PM I will unleash a giant secret at The Living Room. Place your guesses in the comments section.

11 comments:

Chris said...

As a white man from Boston married to a black woman from NY/Haiti/Miami it is obvious that you're the illegitimate daughter of Hillary and Barack.

Or you just found a stray cockapoo and are feeding it a steady diet of reeses peanut butter cups.

Abbi said...

Excellent guesses. I think the fact that the two Democratic candidates are my parents has been known for quite some time. My lawyer has advised me not to comment on any dogs that I may or may not have given chocolate in the past month.

PS: Was your wife born in three places at once or are you a polygamist?

Chris said...

LOL.

Hey, we're supposed to guess your secret Abbi, you're not supposed to guess mine.

crutch said...

is rondell sheridan really related to that guy?

Abbi said...

It would APPEAR so. Look at the eyes. Look a the laugh lines. I'm no geneticist, but I DID get a 4 on my AP Bio exam. Punnett Squares, what-what!

Juno said...

I would like to submit a guess that is totally boss. You are pregnant?

Abbi said...

No.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon said...

You got drunk and married someone you used to babysit?

Abbi said...

No, MC! By the way, thank you for the packet of glittery butterfly stickers, but I no longer own a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper.

Barbara Walters said...

You had an affair with a black senator, and now you want to write a book about it, but you have forgotten how to write, because for the past 50 years someone else has done your thinking for you?

Abbi said...

YES! I mean, that's not the secret that I am unveiling on the show, but yes.