Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Suck It List

There's a new genre in town, and it's going to blow Black Cop-White Cop out of the water! It's the Black Invalid-White Invalid dramedy. Not since the two-toned cookie has black been paired with white and been so sickeningly sweet. The Suck It List brings together a conceited billionaire played by Jack Nicholson and an unusually-poetic- for-his-blue-collar-status Morgan Freeman together in a hospital. They bond over a horrific case of hemorrhoids and a disdain for America's neglect of the elderly. Together they create a list of People Who Can Suck It. After covering all of the hospital staff and their own family members, they voyage beyond the sliding doors to meet other people they can complain about.

From diner waitresses to skydiving instructors, no one is spared from their classically crotchety taglines: "Is that my pacemaker clicking or the sound of your mindless chatter?" (said to Sean Hayes, the aristocratic nephew), "Well give me a sponge bath and turn on Deal or No Deal" (When Nicholson agrees with something), and (when Freeman samples a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos) "I'm getting too old for this chip".

Eventually, Nicholson realizes that sharing his time with another person can be enjoyable. Freeman dons a white tuxedo to reveal he was God all along and flies away, leaving Nicholson to chuckle at his notorious case of cold feet. He finally agrees to tie the knot with a younger woman played by Abigail Breslin.

Two arthritic thumbs up!

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1 comment:

Matt said...

I'm getting too old for this chip.