Office Mail

Here's an excerpt from an e-mail I once wrote to a colleague. I'm sorting through the stuff before I delete it. It's called CLOSURE! Maybe this convo happened as the result of a Happy Hour invitation, but I was explaining why I don't drink.

I wonder what I would say if I were drunk AND angry. “I OWN YOU” (pointing to a house plant) “Just shut up and—hey, look at me when I’m talking to you. You disgust me!” (Then turning to a refrigerator) “Why do you let me get like this? Take me home” (Fall to kitchen floor).