Free Bird!

Move over Al Gore and Leo DiCaprio! There's a new unqualified spokesperson in town! Last Saturday I emceed a Global Warming awareness concert in Astoria Park, Queens called Temperature Check. It featured the bands Intersession, My Other Friend and Miss Marie, there was a raffle for kids, and was a rockin' good time.

The production staff was great, the music was wonderful, and the park is beautiful. Although 200 people were there, they were all spread out, which makes the "woo!" cheer a necessary tool. I was compensated with Monster energy drinks, pizza and chicken wings which is tastier than money, and I don't have to pay taxes on it.

Before I went on, they asked me to speak about the state of the environment and riff on the weather. I worked it all into my material, but that's certainly not the theme of my routine. There are Christian acts, Corporate acts and Clean acts. I wonder if there is a comedian out there who promotes himself as the Global Warming Guy.

"Hey don't look into the sun, folks. It's rude to stare! My doctor says I should stay away from UV rays, but I think he must have meant the VMAs! I spread sunscreen all over my television, and turned it over! Women are like the changing climates. Nobody knows what to do about 'em! You're a beautiful crowd. Don't ever change. I'll be playing the Whole Foods in Union Square next week."