Your Thoughts on Root Hill

Give Slava Yaryshkin of Bad Slava a shout and let him know in the comments section what you think of the Root Hill Mic here!

Once I have enough feedback, I can decide whether or not to add Jell-o pudding pops to the show. Oh yes, I have contacts that have access to the discontinued fudgy delights. And if you think I'm talking about the new, skinny version you can just go across the street to the Lyceum mic*.

Next Root Hill is Mon Apr 5th!
262 4th Ave, @ Carroll St, Brooklyn 11215
Sign-up at 7:00PM, Starts at 8:00PM, FREE

*Don't go over there.

Photo credit: store.vintagepaperads.com

First Four Comics Get Stage Time

Tonight is Positively Awesome, and for the 20-minute Night Shift, we are offering five minutes of stage time to the first four comics casually leaning back against the wall.

Can you match this casual lean?


If it's not stage time but attention you're after, take a look at this e-mail I got from Slava Yaryshkin, who offers a great deal on online advertising:

Dear friends,
I just wanted to let you know that you can now advertise anything (almost) you want on the right side of my website. You can advertise your website, your blog, your show, your open mic, your small business, your cat, etc. Anything you want! Except bringers and/or porn.

The price is just $5 per month with a minimum of 2 months commitment.

Your main man,

Slava

EXCEPT BRINGERS! That's my boy! Leave your stinky blood-sucking bringers in the garbage where they belong.

Let's Talk Radio

Ususally I don't do radio because I believe women are to be seen and not heard, but tonight I make an exception. Stay up til 11:00PM and catch me on the Joey Reynolds Show on WOR 710 HD!

You may remember that I did this show last Friday with Andrew Singer, my co-producer of Positively Awesome. The experience was gay. In that the entire panel of guests (and what a panel!) were gay men. I felt like the only chocolate chip in a homosexual cookie, if I may borrow a trite phrase and manipulate it to fit the context, and if cookies could have a sexual orientation (it's their right!)


The funny Friday Night Lineup:


The man himself:


soce the elemental wizard spits rhymes as Myra the booking producer looks on in amonderment (amazement + wonderment):


Free Sandwiches


Free laughter


Tonight I'll be kickin' it with the ladies. Which ladies? Tune in to find out!

Dog Tied

My latest post on Pepsi We Inspire is about loving a dog when you're a cat person. Not a cat lady!! A cat person.

This dog is a jalopy, and the vet is a mechanic that keeps making sure something is wrong. First week it was a skin infection, next week it was a UTI. “Pay $200 for medication? Cranberry juice is like two bucks! If it was good enough for my grandma, it’s good enough for the dog.”

Click here to read the whole post! And don't forget to leave a comment or share it on Facebook!

Open Mic Policy

Here's an interesting conversation I had with Matt Ruby on open mic etiquette on his comedy blog Sandpapersuit.com

No plans tonight? Check Matt out on his show Hot Soup!

Every Friday
8:00PM, FREE
O'Hanlon's(349 E 14th St between 1st and 2nd Ave)
Produced by Matt Ruby, Mark Normand, Andy Haynes, and David Cope

Guests for Friday 3/19:
Derick Lengwenus (Montreal)
Bing Stanhope (Philadelphia)
Kevin McCaffrey (NYC)
Matt Goldich (Letterman writer)

Ruby's hosting so don't dilly-dally!

DNA Don't Lie

This is nice to see when you're driving in Brooklyn. Families coming together.



DNA LAB CENTER: "Does he really have his father's eyes?"
-Peace of Mind
-Court DNA
-Immigration

Medical Center in a van. Because there's no way you're getting him to an actual facility. A van though? I guess if it was good enough for every drug addict in the '60s, it's good enough for me!

You know the other way to do a paternity test? Look at photos. Clearly Justin Timberlake is the father of Spencer Pratt's baby Ben Foster.

Number Two!

Well, I did not come in first for the March Comedy Madness. Hats off to Alex Grubard for doing a great set and effectively hypnotizing the audience into forgetting how heartily I made them laugh 60 seconds prior. Apparently he's been watching more episodes of The Mentalist than I have.

Congratulations are also in order for my husband Luke Thayer. He deserved to win after going into overtime (telling more jokes) to break the tie he had with Eric I, but most of all for spending an entire day around excrement. Max was having scatalogical tendencies in all the wrong places, and a morning walk to the park landed Luke's foot in some other dog's unburied time capsule. We're talking 6:30 in the morning. That's arleady a long time to be dealing with things that stink, and to then be asked on to a comedy show featuring Brendan Fitzgibbons? It's just too much.

Watch Luke go head-to-head with another competitor next Wed Mar 17!
March Comedy Madness
Comix Comedy Club, 353 W. 14th St, 10014
9:30PM, $15 + 2 drinks

Are You MAD?!

It's time for Comix March Madness! The competition of 64 comedians who perform against each other according to brackets in a chance to win fortune and glory!

Tonight I will face down the hilarious Alex Grubard



Most likely the audience will be split down the middle, and we'll have to settle it with an arm wrestle, Over the Top style.

My whole body is an engine. This is a fireplug (making a fist), and I'm gonna light him up.

Paws Awes Tonight

Positively Awesome is tonight! Cool kids call it Pos Awes, and cooler kids misspell it for hipster chic cred. Plus "PAWS" indicates it now has 50% more Bulldog jokes!



Don't forget the last half-hour becomes the Night Shift! Howling good time.

Positively Awesome at Cellar 58
58 2nd ave (between 3rd and 4th streets), 10003
Tuesdays at 8:00PM
1 drink minimum

Meet Max

This is the best thing he does. He's not humping it like a maniac, he is merely enjoying the subtle flavors and textures of duck, quite like anyone who is too pretentious to order chicken.

He's only known us for a day. His previous owner needed to find a good home for him. Failing that she gave him to us. He nibbles corners of beach towels until he falls asleep. He passes the same gas used for U.S. Army grenades. He grunts a lot, so my dream of owning a potbellied pig has come true. If I could just train him to root for truffles, I'll have a winner. He had a botched neutering so his weenie always pokes out. Looks just like this:


His trick is to sit, and he's very good at following this man's advice.


But he can't do my taxes yet, so...meh.

C is for Criminal

Guillermo stops by my desk to have me sign for a package. All packages are usually just office supplies I recently ordered. Instead of signing, I take out the scissors and say, "You never get to enjoy this part. I don't want you to miss this! What could it be?" (totally expecting to open a stapler or laptop battery or whatever someone just had me order). I open the box, and it's a tin of cookies.

"Cookies? I didn't order no cookies." I look at the name on the box. It's not for me. It's for some higher-up on my team. Moops. He laughs, shrugs, gets his signature and leaves. Meanwhile I have to explain why I opened someones cookie gift.

Or do I EAT THEM?

Positively Awesome MadLib

The blanks to the following MadLib were filled by Chris of Cynical-C.com


Hey gang! Tonight is Tuesday, so you know what that means! Another GLISTENING night of Postively Awesome! The only show to knock your mother's BABUSHKA off!

Last week we had an astounding turnout with standing room only at "Positively Awesome Asians" our first theme night (which rocks harder than catching JUST ONE OF THE GUYS on TBS), and we PONTIFICATED the night away with our famous Night Shift, where the last half-hour is dedicated to today's top talent performing a short set without being booked. How WICKEDULOUS is that? Pretty wickedulous.

Washington called, it wants its CITRUS OF DOOM secrets back! No, you can't have them. And people will continue to clamor to our show.

Be there or be MARE! (whinny)


Positively Awesome at Cellar 58
58 2nd ave (between 3rd and 4th streets), 10003
1 drink minimum

(I told Chris to pick two nouns, and he chose ALLIGATOR and TISSUE, hence the picture above)

Thank You For Being a Friend

I was voted into the 2010 March Comedy Madness Competition! Thanks for your support, now let's have a fun time at this comedy show!

Tickets are $15 advanced sale, $20 at the door

and a whopping $5 off if you use Promo Code: MCMBK

Discount? Discount!

2 drink minimum
CALL 212.524.2500 or visit www.ComixNY.com
353 W 15th St, 10014

Are you ready to be ENTERTAINED?!