Thursday, May 28, 2009

Oh Solo Mio

Had a good time on the ol' birthday yesterday. I felt a lot of pressure to have planned something extraordinary, but the day crept up on me, and skydiving is too expensive. So I spent some time alone doing what I like to do. While these may sound like the events leading up to someone's suicide, they were actually a welcome departure from my normal grind.

Activity #1: Go to movies. I watched Dance Flick in an empty house except for two guys a few rows in front of me. "Yo dawg, we almost got this place to ourselves!" Luckily my presence didn't stop them from loudly rating the previews. The weirdest part about the event was carrying a bouquet of flowers given to me at work. I looked like I was in a pageant. Also, when you walk into businesses with flowers, people think you're there to deliver them. Even the homely girl who works the popcorn.

Activity #2: Loiter. I returned my wilting flowers to work using a shredder bin as a makeshift vase. With time to kill I went straight to a nearby Bed Bath and Beyond, standing in the entrance and inhaling the new stuff smells. Smelling's free! And looks as weird as it sounds.

Activity #3: Cake for one. I had a cupcake in the adjoining Barnes and Noble and resisted the urge to sing to myself.

Activity #4: Showtime. I performed at Gabe Pacheco and Dan Mahoney's show Haiku in the Village for a stand-up set. Comedians are also invited to write their own haikus. I took advantage of the Korean venue to recite the following.

Anyone like dogs?
Not if you are eating here!
Not racist when black.

You will be relieved to know I did not have a frozen dinner or curl up with a cat at the end of the night. That's for next year.


Mo Diggs said...

Great ending to the haiku

Abbi Crutchfield said...

Why thank you. The only thing that would have made the day better was if I didn't have to kill a man. But that's another tale for another time.

Tommy Pryor said...

abbi, anyone who gives you a snoopy and woodstock card on your birthday, or any other occasion, is a keeper, glad to see you have that kind of buddy. tommy