Monday, April 13, 2009
Adria of Impact-DC.com writes:
What kind of toilet paper do you prefer and what kind do you purchase?
Thanks for voyaging beyond the realm of comedy-specific questions! Just like Madonna when it comes to children, what I prefer is not always what I purchase.
I PREFER the kind of soft toilet paper that comes in rolls of 24. The kind of 3-ply, quilted abundance that scoffs at rainforest activists. The kind I can hug in Target to restore tranquility when it's whoopin' time in the cereal aisle. The kind sold by cartoon bears.
By the way, that commercial always reminds me of this popular street joke:
A bear and a rabbit are going to the bathroom in the woods. The bear says to the rabbit, "Do you ever have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?" The rabbit smugly replies, "Certainly not!" So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit.
I purchase Angel Soft because it is always on sale wherever I go. In these tough economic times, it is the prudent choice. It is also a step above the kind you find in corporations, which is essentially tracing paper. It breaks apart in your hands so you never get more than one square at a time. You end up fishing inside the plastic receptacal and turning the wheel over and over, endlessly searching for the new, unperforated sheet. Sweat beads form on your head while you gingerly prod as if you're delivering a giraffe. No thank you. I have my standards. Especially since they're impossible to steal.
Feel free to post your questions for Abbi in the comments section, to be answered in a later post, or write curlycomedy (at) yahoo.com with "Ask Abbi" in the Subject.
Written by Abbi Crutchfield
Labels: Ask Abbi