On nearby streets, young, middle-class couples push baby strollers alongside funky, artistic types off to sip brunch mimosas at one of the district's fine restaurants...
--nymag.com
Self-defense: Adult Women and Transgendered People (Now reviving successful "Turn-in-Stilettos-for-Safety-Whistle" program)
Birth Doula (When trained medical professionals just aren't enough.)
Labor Support Doulas (Pick from our many, homely women skilled at sitting in a room and looking at you.)
Emotional Midwifery (Push with FEELING. I want to BELIEVE you are having this child!)
Breast-feeding Basics (Step 1. Get breasts. Step 2: Use breasts to feed hungry baby.)
Post-natal Fitness Classes (Because you really do look awful)
Practice Pilates at Home (Fart in the comfort of your own living room)
Positive, Holistic Solutions: Dog Training (Rex needs to learn to take his Mercurialis perennis)
Critter Sitters (Free diaper service for chimpanzees)
Training for the Urban Dog and Family (Training for the urban dog includes walking with a Gangsta Lean. Training for the family consists of hitting them with newspapers.)
Hypnosis (Collecting untold amounts of money from people since 1992.)
Aikikai (Marital arts classes specializing in weight-shifting technique, balance and typecasting you for the rest of your film career)
Piano/Guitar Lessons (Also known as the Keytar. Location: Subway platform)
International Voiceover Artist (For all of your international voiceover needs)
Children's French Book Fair (Qui veut aller a la bibliotheque? Qui veut se tuer d'un coup de pistolet?)
Music Therapy (Doris Oswald invites you to listen to Pure Moods vol. 1-8 in her 4th Floor Walk-up. Cost: 1 box of Lean Cuisine)
Craniosacral Therapy (We don't know what this is either.)
Well-Being Massage Therapy (Covered windows for privacy. Video of Asian Women on continuous loop in front of store so we're all on the same page here.)
Holistic Medicine (Doris Oswald invites you to drink a tea she made from leaves collected in Prospect Park. Cost: Dressing in a Michael Bolton costume.)
Family Improv: Private Tutor ("May I have a suggestion? I heard booger. Thank you.")
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
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6 comments:
more like punk slope
BURN
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Birth Doula.
Birth Doula who?
Birth doula thing and thecond doula other thing.
Doula? I like ta doula hula - but not when pregnant. Then you fill the whole hoop.
Doula hustle! Doot-deet-doot-da-doot-da-doot doo doo
Doot-deet-doot-da-doot-da-doot doo doo!
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Join martial arts training classes, new batch is starting now hurry up! Unique MMA curriculum includes partner drills session, strength conditioning exercise.
>>Fitness classes in park slope<<
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