The Comedy of America

I made the America's Comedy list of Top 10 Must-Follow Comedians on Twitter!



I was stuck in last night's rain storm when my umbrella finally proved its worth and let water through:
"Oh, so this umbrella was five dollars because it's made of cheese cloth. I get it now."

Social media websites have not only changed the way people communicate, but also opened up a new outlet for laughs. Twitter is one of the most popular social media sites and provides a foundation for amusing quips to be tweeted by comedians themselves. America’s Comedy has found the top 10 must-follow Twitter accounts for every comedy lover...

Click here to see the full list.

Thanks Kristen Kuntz of Ohio University!

Props from HuffPo

I made the list of Huffington Post's "18 Funny Women You Should Be Following on Twitter"



"Soy milk functions like estrogen, which is why when boys drink it they grow impatient with Steven Segal [sic] films."

About me: I misspell the names of famous action stars.

Click here to see the full list.

Thanks to those who let me know about it!

URant - Depardieu

One of my favorite and only French actors I know, Gerard Depardieu, made headlines for relieving himself in the aisle of a plane, and nobody in the media came to his rescue.

Click here to check out my rant on Uinterview.com where I defend his right to release anything he wants. Even his movies.

And don't forget to click LIKE or log in to leave a comment!

Are You Ready For Some Football Commercials?

I'm in a funny Direct TV commercial where I do what I do best during football games: sit silently.



The ad features Deion Sanders as a fairy giving advice to football fans.



I am acting along side comedian Jordan Carlos




I don't know much about fantasy football, but ignorance is blitz.

My Early Comedy Central Appearance

Comedian John Heffron pointed me in the direction of a clip of one of his Comedy Central specials-- because he majored in split-second Where's Waldo pinpointing, and saw that Luke and I attended the taping. The camera caught me mid-guffaw.



Click here to watch the full clip.

I Feel the Earth. Move. Under my Tweet

My tweet about the recent earthquake on the East Coast has gotten some national coverage!

"Luckily I was holding a bag of chicken cutlets filled with breadcrumbs."

TIME.COM reporter Nick Carbone selected it for a list called 'Laughter Shocks': 13 Best Tweets About the East Coast Earthquake.

7 LIVE ONLINE senior web producer Sara Bueno gave it a shout-out inTwittersphere: East Coast Quake

CNN featured it on a segment this morning, but all I could find was this clip on CNN.com about Twitter and the East Coast earthquake

Thanks to the news folks above and to all who have let me know about it.

Gandhi, Is That You?

My buddies Lance Weiss and Brendan Fitzgibbons have taken their popular live comedy show and turned it into a big umbrella that includes videos and a podcast! Together with Kyle Fincham, Luke Thayer and Grant Gordon they have launched a really fun project I'm proud to be a part of. Check out Gandhi, is That You? The WEBSITE.

And here's their latest video featuring Luke:



Check out the show featuring the hottest stand-ups and surprise guests (Jim Gaffigan and Eric Andre have dropped in)
every Wednesday at 9:00PM
Lucky Jack's
129 Orchard Street, NYC 10002
FREE PIZZA

(This week’s show is on Tuesday, July 12th due to a scheduling conflict with Lucky Jacks Bar. The following week we will go back to our normal schedule of Wednesday Nights.)

Last Call for Fun-for-All

Cool down this summer evening with a hilarious Living Room Show!

For our 95th show we invite our old favorite friends:

NICK COBB hosts
CAROLYN CASTIGLIA
AMY ALBERT
LUKE THAYER
sketch by ABBI CRUTCHFIELD


Fri June 24, 8:00PM
Postmark Cafe
326 6th Street (btwn 4th/5th aves)
New York, NY 11215
FREE

Tonight toNIGHT to NIGH-IGHT

Phil Collins said it best.

Positively Awesome is a comedy show about a small black child who gets adopted by a white family and hides in various secret compartments in the home.

You'll love it!

Okay, it's actually stand-up comedy, but if you like precious minorities, secret surprises and white people you'll love our lineup!

H. ALAN SCOTT
JAMIE LEE
DAVID FOSTER

with freestyle and jokes by soce the elemental wizard
hosted by MEEEE

Be there.

The People's Improv Theater (PIT)
123 E. 24th Street
New York, NY 10010
8:00PM
$5
Get your tickets here before the show's sold out!

Crappy Birthday to Me

I was a grump this birthday, which is unusual, considering I am guaranteed to eat cake at some point in the day. Luckily the fact that I was a sourpuss didn't stop us from having an awesome 93rd Living Room show! Thanks to all who came out to perform / watch. During the last comic the audience swelled and I realized Luke was suprising me with a post-show party. Someone put a few boxes of friends in the corner, and then, to my delight, a bunch of pizza arrived to wish me well.

The weekend brought the same sweltering heat that caused me to spend a previous birthday desperately seeking liquids. I went out to see "Bridesmaids", which made me break my No Theaters in the Era of the Bedbugs rule. I tried to go big, getting nachos, candy AND soda (I took out a loan), but after we rode single-file up the escalator Playful Penguin-Race style, we were told that snacks at the tiny concession stand were severely limited.



It was not so much a stand as a podium in front of a vending machine. Unrefrigerated bottles of soda had just arrived and were being placed in the case. The vendor was a magician who pulled nachos out of a top hat and a box of Skittles from behind my ear. I couldn't bring myself to pay for hot soda when I get it for free at work, so I spent two hours with dry mouth and the kind of belly ache you're supposed to stop having on Halloween at age 10.

My gift to myself was to finally start running. The pace was more of the half-hearted courtesy jog you give when crossing the street. I hit a mental wall 4 minutes in, my face burst into flames, and afterwards my body felt like it was beaten with potatoes. I consider any workout a success when I can say, "at least I didn't cry!" Looks like I'm going to have to apply that to birthdays too.

URant - Arnold

I just heard Arnold Schwarzenegger's son out of wedlock is slated to star in a sit-com called, "My New Dad". Paul Reiser executive producing. That was a My Two Dads joke. Remember My Two Dads? Anyway, you know I had to jump on that news by sharing My Two Cents. You-can-count-on-me!




Click here to check out my rant on Uinterview.com where I break down celebrity cheating patterns. And don't forget to click LIKE or log in to leave a comment!

Bonus: Now that the theme to My Two Dads is in your head, ladies and gentlemen...Dick Butkus

Positively Awesome

A year and a half ago I started a show with Andrew Singer called Positively Awesome. We gave away free T-shirts.



It was in a tiny back room of a wine bar.



People loved it.



But they needed more room. So we're moving to the People's Improv Theater!



At The PIT's new basement space, we're bringing more excellent stand-up, more great freestyle rap re-caps, and deeper, longer belly laughs! Check out our amazing lineup and their fantastic credits!

MYQ KAPLAN (Big time TV stuff)
SARA SCHAEFER (So many things I can't even)
JAMIE ROBERTS (Have you seen him yet? I mean have you? Oh man)
KEVIN BARNETT (Dopeness plus originality plus he's all, "I don't give a...")

You do NOT want to miss our inaugural show. Be a part of comedy history!

Positively Awesome at The PIT
123 E. 24th Street, NYC 10010
$5
Buy tickets here or at the door.

My Thoughts in Your Face

Adam Ullian of YuletideSnapper.com interviewed me (Click here to watch on YouTube)about how I got started , the business of comedy, and how to keep sexism from hampering progress in the artform. Also foreign tourists get lost and gather behind me so I pretend they're my fans.

For more excellent interviews and great coverage of all things comedy visit YuletideSnapper.com

Amateur Night at The Apollo

Afternoon rehearsal



My name in lights! (My middle name is Coca Cola)



Backstage with Kim "Synclair from Living Single" Coles. In a 90s kind of world I'm glad I've got my girl.



Show time!



How did I do? Well, I did not place 1st, 2nd or 3rd by the audience vote, but I didn't get tap-danced off by The Executioner, C.P. Lacey either! Success!

What a fun night. Met a lot of cool people. Grew from the experience. Thank you Apollo!

And a HUGE thank you to the people who got me extra stage time so I could prepare for this performance:

Marlon Randolph (www.punchlinetv.com/2009/12/marlon-randolph)

Lee Lee Fitzgerald

Phoebe Robinson (www.womenincomedyfestival.com/performers/2011/68)

Burt Smooth (www.myspace.com/burtsmooth)

Yannis Pappas (yannispappas.net)

Frank Gallo (http://www.thebanterer.com/gallery.html)

Ruhbin Mehta (www.myspace.com/ruhbinmehta)

Brendan Fitzgibbons (brendanfitzgibbons.wordpress.com)

Lance Weiss (www.lanceweiss.com)

Brooke VanPoppelen (http://brookevanpoppelen.com/)

Giulia Rozzi (giuliarozzi.com)

Marianne Shaberg (http://theworldnyc.com/comedian.cfm?id=1513)

Todd Montesi (www.myspace.com/toddmontesi)

Justin Murray (http://like2laugh.com/comics/comedian.php?ent=Justin%20Murray)

A Mature Night

I have been invited to perform on A Mature Night at The Apollo. Obviously someone recognized how poised and level-headed I am when I tell jokes and decided that I am the epitome of maturity. I can't wait to play to all the other fellow mature adults (no doubt enjoying tea with scones and a side of Centrum Silver).

It's gonna be fun. More fun for the audience probably than the performer, as I have to maintain an air of maturity throughout my entire set.

Apollo Theater
253 W. 125th St, NYC 10027
7:30PM
Click the link at right for info on how to buy tickets in advance.

Jest You Wait

I made the 150 Best Jests list on the NY Post!

Spoiler alert: I'm number 113.

I'm in great company so congrats to the other comedians who were selected! And congrats to the other comedians who may not have been selected but who still bust their chops each night telling great jokes.

URant - Camille

Click here to check out my latest rant on Uinterview.com where I list the top 5 ways Camille Grammer will spend her divorce settlement money. And don't forget to click LIKE or log in and comment!

Board Game Flashback: Strangers and Dangers

This game is described on BoardGameGeek.com as "a game designed by law enforcement officials to teach kids about the dangers of talking to strangers". I have no idea how we acquired it. It was probably sent to my mom as a thank you for donating to the Marion County PD. It had all the info of an after-school special, without the cool cameo by Malcolm Jamal Warner.

The object was to make it home from school without being abducted. There was no strategy to winning. You have two choices once you flick the spinner and plop your character along the Candyland-like path to the right color. "You are approached by a stranger. Do you go with him? If yes, return to start. If no, go ahead more spaces."

To go ahead you had to "Scream, 'No!' and run to the nearest Safety Place". Safety Places included a library, a fire department and a church (because nothing bad ever happens to kids there). If you made it home you were treated to a wholesome reunion with your parents who were cooking hotdogs and hamburgers on a grill.

The weirdest part was the illustration. For some reason the boy and girl on the cover of the box had one of their eyes removed. Probably for playing with BB guns, which must be a spin-off of another educational board game.

How Tweet it Is

Where did I put that MyOwn Horn? Oh here it is! (Removes from black case. Admires red velvet interior. Sees reflection, notices poppyseed in teeth. Puckers.)

TOOT TOOT!

My tweet was recently named a part of Totally Terrific Tweets on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon blog. Special thanks to Jon Friedman for noticing. Follow him on twitter! @friedmanjon

Enter Sandman

Wop Wop Wop you got going on Sunday? Want to hang out at the famous Apollo Theater?

See me perform on behalf of the TriBeCa Performing Arts Center* at The Apollo’s Open House Weekend, sponsored by Target**, Sunday February 6th at 1:30PM. But you don't have to wait until Sunday. The open house begins on Sat Feb 5th, and you'll see all kinds of organizations represented. What a wonderful way to celebrate Black History Month by visiting a historic black landmark where you can see a pretty black lady tell jokes!

I don't think anyone will be able to tap dance me off since it's not televised, but there will be a panel of judges, and unless it's my family, talking into a banana won't make them like me. So I have to bring the big guns. (Larger bananas).

All of this is a precursor to a fabulous show I will host starring Leighann Lord.

Leighann Lord with Black Women in Comedy
Sat Feb 19 at 8PM
TriBeCa Performing Arts Center
$15


*Check out TriBeCa Performing Arts Center on Facebook!

**Additional generous support is provided by Aetna

Board Game Flashback: Operation

Subconsciously, kids are probably attracted to playing Operation because you get to turn the tables on a clown. Take back the fright. He's much smaller, naked, stuck on his back, and helpless to your maniacal probing with terrifying instruments. He doesn't look happy about this. He's sorry he scared you in so many movies and cartoons.

My immediate memory of this game is how impossible it is to play. It's like trying to remove a pimento from an olive using salad tongs. But you can't touch the olive. An off-putting buzzing sound alerts you to your ineptitude. The game bypasses an opportunity to teach anatomical accuracy and instead employs idioms like a butterfly representing butterflies in the stomach, a horse representing a charlie horse in the leg or a pail representing water on the knee. But some of the removable objects go beyond pun territory into a land called JUST THINK OF SOMETHING - WE HAVE A DEADLINE. A pencil in the wrist to indicate a writer's cramp (ouch), a bread basket located in the gut (huh?), an area with no name, just a song lyric - "the ankle bone's connected to the knee bone". What bone? It's a rubber band. Are there any bones in this body? Oh yeah a funny bone, which is the hilarious shape of a typical bone.

The picture above suggests there is money involved in this game, but kids are interested in the extraction not subtraction. Most of my friends and I just took turns failing at surgical procedures. A great pre-cursor to med school.

As with every board game I lost, this is how I usually reacted 15 minutes in.

Adventures in Your Computer

I've been appearing online different places. Luckily I have a net that can capture all of these magical moments. An Internet net! Time for a net-net investment in Internet nets Annette!



This is my joke about hairless cats which may not be loved by those to whom hairless cats are beloved. In the Joke of the Day series, a comedian tells a joke, and the viewer gets to choose to have fruits or vegetables be thrown! Fresh, not frozen.

I'm also on Uinterview.com. They have a segment called U Rant, where you get to share your two cents on a pop culture current event. Like Hollywood's reaction to Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes...



...or the hundred year-old news of Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal stopping pretending to be dating. Triple Gerund! Time to reward myself with a new MLA Handbook.

Live and In Person

Here are places you can see my act live this week!

Tues Jan 18
8:00PM - Positively Awesome at Cellar 58
9:30PM - Sits and Jigles at Creek and the Cave

Wed Jan 19
8:30PM - Brew House Comedy at Astoria Brewhouse (pictured above)

Today I'd Like You To Think About Cinnamon Roll Ear Muffs

Much like the unicorn, they don't exist. But unlike the unicorn, there aren't even any Photoshopped pictures of them online! What gives? I want a pair. When you Google "Cinnamon roll ear muffs" you get a website called Naughty Secretary. I can only guess which key word brings it up.

Anyway, while I wait for the makers of ear muffs to get a modicum of creativity, I have purchased these in the mean time:



Ear Mitts,the bandless ear muffs

So THIS is Happening on Thursday

Get your tickets today!
Not Getting It: Rejection and Resilient Ignorance
Thurs Jan 13, 2011 at 6:00PM
UCB Theater
307 W. 26th St (between 8th and 9th aves)
New York, NY 10001
212-366-9176
$5

For five dollars you get to check out THREE amazing shows. In addition to mine, you'll see:

The Sandino Book Club: Catcher in the Rye

Welcome to Camp


The title of my show is misleading. It could totally be about the number of times I have interpreted "No," to mean, "Please try again," but who wants to see a show about me asking a guy out / telling bad jokes / applying glitter nail polish to my eye lids to create a shimmer effect?

This is about the decline of celebrity, the delusion of self-importance and the warm and fuzzy feeling redemption brings. Plus an excuse to dress like a kid, poke fun at political figures and do a Carol Channing impression. Can't wait to see you there!

Directed by Kate Tellers
Flier by Greg Gilbert of Aemiessence Fine Arts
Video in the show by Daniel Lang