Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Space Cadet




Right in time for Valentine’s Day!

Is the worst part of the story that she already had a brilliant husband and (by default) prodigy kids? Is the worst part of the story that her mug shot makes Paul Reubens look like a mild-mannered Blockbuster employee? Is the worst part of the story that she cornered someone while wearing a giant diaper?

No. The worst part of the story of the astronaut who plotted against the girlfriend of her secret astronaut lover is that no one is commending this woman for her follow-through. How many times have we been jilted and sworn revenge, ladies? And how many times do we actually buy a garbage bag and drive cross-country to stuff someone into it? Nevah! We don sweats and watch the latest romantic comedy so a ripped and oily Matthew McConaughey/Taye Diggs can remind us that better men exist.

With smudged eye liner and a Shar-pei sitting on her forehead, Lisa Nowak boldly looks into the precinct camera and says, “I made it as far as I could, girls.” The 43 year old in all of us cheers--she hikes up her light blue jeans until they rest comfortably above the pooch, and she cheers.

Let this be a lesson to the Other Woman! Mess with players, and you mess with players’ psychotic, scorned, BB gun-wielding, rocket scientist, evil genius, ex-flings.

2 comments:

Crutch said...

SHARPEI on her forehead??

You are something else...I loved it!

Abbi said...

Well with all that access to advanced NASA technology, I thought maybe moon rock exfoliating wrinkle cream would come standard.