My Thoughts in Your Face

Adam Ullian of YuletideSnapper.com interviewed me (Click here to watch on YouTube)about how I got started , the business of comedy, and how to keep sexism from hampering progress in the artform. Also foreign tourists get lost and gather behind me so I pretend they're my fans.

For more excellent interviews and great coverage of all things comedy visit YuletideSnapper.com

Producing a Show in NYC

Dan Allen, co-producer of the popular and long-running Sacapuntas!, provides insight into successfully producing a live comedy show in New York.

Your role as the producer is to build trust between your audience and your show. You have to consistently provide a funny show that is different every single time they attend. At the same time, you have to build trust between the performers and your show. They need to know that every time they perform on your show it’s going to be fun and productive.

Click here to read the whole post.

Curious about seeing a well-produced live show? Look no further than:

Living Room Show
2nd & 4th Fridays, 8:00PM
Postmark Cafe, 326 6th Ave, 11215

Positively Awesome
Tuesdays, 8:00PM
Cellar 58, 58 2nd Ave, 10003

Ladybits
Wednesdays, 6:00PM
Cornelia St. Cafe, 29 Cornelia St, 10014

Just What I Deserve

I went up against Joe List in last night's World Series of Stand-Up competition at Caroline's. How did I do? Everyone laughed at my jokes. Great, but did I win? It's not about winning or losing. It's about getting the chance to perform.

Anyway, Joe said something that got an applause break, so I left without finding out which one of us won.



No, YOU'RE a big baby!

Then I went to buy a Cinnabon at Rockefeller Center just in case I lost. But it was closed, so I went to the Dunkin Donuts kiosk next door.

Me: Hi, I don't know what I want yet.
Employee: How about a DONUT? (Other employees laugh)
Me: I wanted a Cinnabon. What's the twisty thing you have here that's like a cinnamon roll?
Employee: Bagel twists
Me: No, I don't want a bagel
Employee: RAISIN bagel twist. With icing.
Me: Okay.

It tasted like a bagel with icing.

Comedy and Jealousy

They go together like cereal and orange juice. But our brains, much like Wal-mart, allow unrelated items to co-exist, even to our own detriment. Captain Ron and Easy chairs, anyone?

How can we stop comedy and jealousy from joining forces, clouding any positive thoughts we may have for our peers when they get big breaks?

Here are three helpful reminders that come to us from Chicken Soup for the Self-Absorbed Hack and Shiftless Has-Been Soul (Canfield and Hansen):

Lesson 1: Do Unto Others

When I was seven, I was invited to a summer birthday party that involved lots of sprinkler action. The hosts, two teen-aged sisters decided to line guests up and hand out a home-made Bathing Suit Award. They called our classmate Ashley to step forward and announced that she had the "Coolest Suit". Arguably, she did. It was neon-colored with black, criss-cross straps. Girls started to clap, and I gave a thumbs down and shouted, "Boo!" I got everyone to boo her as loudly as they could. The sisters quieted us down and pulled out another certificate and announced the "Sauciest Suit" and called my name. I was confused. Then they selected the "Most Fabulous Suit". There were awards for everyone.

Sure it feels good to ruin someone's moment of glory. But you don't exactly want people booing when it's your turn.

Lesson 2: Be Careful What You Wish For

I have tried for a lot of things, gotten some, and missed out on others. What others? A reality TV show about female comedians that trash each other, a scholarship offering free courses through 4 levels of improv I've already taken, and the lead role in a play that takes place in a salon and whose humor is based on the regular customers "blowin' up the place with their doodoo stank."

You might be depressed over being rejected but the person who got the gig is probably suicidal.

Which brings us to our third lesson: Everyone Dies

I was sitting in the back of an airplane a couple of days ago dreaming of how little I've accomplished and I woke up right as we were buckling back in for the landing. I heard an unusual buzzing sound under me, and the horizon line switched to an alarmingly sharp decline. My head was dizzy, and I started to panic because I seriously thought we were about to crash. We landed ten minutes later.

When you're feeling jealousy take over, remember, even that person will some day die. But then remember that you, too will die. And maybe you shouldn't waste your life being a jerk.

By the way, the guy in the seat behind me was crying as we landed, so I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is preoccupied with Kristen Schaal's success.

The Method to My Madness

Some of my loyal readers are not comedians and do not understand the process of comedy writing. First of all, it’s different for everyone. Richard Lewis would write endlessly and take legal pad pages taped together with him on stage and lay them out over a piano like a table cloth. Others like Sinbad and Elayne Boosler are said to have written on stage—that is to say, never taking pen to paper but remembering bits and evolving them while in front of a crowd.

I don’t prescribe to either method. I work like Ghostwriter, of PBS fame, constantly rearranging refrigerator magnets until I spell a word. A nearby child tries to guess the concept I am hinting at, and before he or she can solve a mystery, I have landed my first joke. This way, I let other people do my thinking for me. Similarly, I collect old wrappers like Templeton, of horrific storybook fame, and I drop them in front of people. It takes about ten times before someone stops complaining about litter and starts trying to figure out the story unfolding at their feet. This produces quality material and helps me stay, for lack of a better word, humble.

Arguably this procedure slows my progress of effectively making people laugh 100% of the time. That’s the price you have to pay to be good. Nobody ever said this job would be easy, and I don’t believe in taking short cuts. Originality is key in this business, and this is the primary way I will stand out among today’s traditional comedians. Plenty of product references, toilet humor, and little substance. Hey it worked for (comedian du jour that people wish to criticize).

An-yung-ha-say-oh!

Margaret Cho's pinkies are unusually small. Nobody says anything about it, but I am a supersleuth, and I observe that she curls them to create the illusion of average-sized pinkies.

I can't find any information on Google. World-class search engine my eye.

My normal-sized albeit lazy eye.

Two Times The Fun

Ah, when identical movies come out around the same time...







But you don't have to take MY word for it...

Doo doot DOOT!

The Original King of Pop

Thank you, Larry the Cable Guy. I know he's not everyone's cup of tea, but I just heard his eulogy for Orville Redenbacher, and I couldn't stop laughing. Game recognize game, Playa.